In A Conundrum Here....

[Tyler]

A bit of a backstory,
When I was born I had an infection in my chest that spread through my endocryn sytem and ended up having to take out my thyroid gland. Because of this I have basically zero natural metabolism and well, am overweight because of it (not that I would be skinny either way but I wouldn't be as fat as I am). I do get regular injections of hormones, pharamones, and enzymes but its only about 10% as effective as a natural course. My problem is that I love to swim, it's low impact on my joints which is good being my size and a fairly good workout I can do without becoming overly sweaty....but because of my weight I hate going to a pool when other people are there because I hate being in public without a shirt on. Recently our apartment complex's pool opened up and I would love to be able to just walk 100 yards to go do one of my favorite things, swim, and maybe get a little tanned, but I don't want to be around so many people without a shirt. I know the easy solution is to just suck it up and think that no one will care, but I can't think that in the back of their minds they're all judging me :-\

[IainUM]

i know how you feel about the self concious thing. i've been working really hard to get rid of the beer belly that has started to come up a bit and i was always super self-concious while in high school. one option is you could swim with a shirt on. not only would it cover everything up, but it would also probably add some resistance to your swimming so you'd have to work a bit harder. the way i look at it is they may talk, they may not, but if they aren't anyone you know, then who cares?

[Blaskomc]

i can tell you over and over to not worry about what others think, dont let it get to ya, ect ect... but the truth is most of my family is overweight (im the opposite however save for my beer gut) so i know what its like in a way to worry about said things... i cant give much advise on how to get over your worries but i can tell you what id do.... id walk right up to that pool banana hammock and nothing else, and cannonball my way in!

[mushrat]

Fuck em.

Just figure you don't have to invite them over for a beer later and enjoy YOUR life.

Not as easy as it sounds I know but the sooner you decide to live your life and quit worrying about others the sooner ...well..you can go to the pool and get some needed exercise and enjoy yourself.

[Arcane]

[quote name='Tyler' timestamp='1306689828' post='510995']but I can't think that in the back of their minds they're all judging me :-\[/quote]
It's in all likelihood that they will be judging you...mostly negatively, but there's a chance it may be positive (i.e. he's trying to be active, lose weight, etc). It's just the way most of society operates.

If you're worried about how you look, no matter what body type, you're going to be self-conscious. It seems as though you'll feel more comfortable swimming if you were thinner. But, you'll have to exercise (in your case, swimming) to get thinner. You have to accept that people are going to judge you or go running instead.

[Venger]

i weigh 320 lbs and always wear a shirt.i know I am not fooling anyone cause I am still just as fat but it makes me feel better. If they ask why (and the little kids always do) I just tell them I sunburn easily and just like the added protection.
Ray.

[agunn1231]

maybe pick a time to go to the pool when a lot of people arent there. THat is what Hallie and I do, we are both slightly over weight and I know that i am self conscious. But last summer we went down there when there was no one there, and it all turned out all right. If you feel better wearing a shirt go for it.

[Rani]

I've been heavy. I've been skinny. And honestly I had the same insecurities skinny as I did heavy. We have a society that teaches us to hate our bodies and find flaws in them even when we're within society's "acceptable" range. We have kids growing up bulimic and anorexic and with such low self esteem they treat themselves and allow themselves to be treated like crap looking for acceptance. All that changed for me when I came up against a freeway barricade head on at 87 miles an hour and accelerating out of an uncontrolled spin on wet pavement. I hit so hard straight head on, I bounced back across 4 lanes of the I-5 freeway and halfway up the embankment on the other side.

I should have died. When they cut the car away from me, and slashed through the seatbelt literally embedded in my body, and I stepped out of the twisted metal that used to be a car, the firemen were astonished. They X-rayed me every way possible to X-ray a person and no broken bones, no torn aorta, no nothing except deep muscle and tendon tears and strains. Those take a hell of a long time to heal, so for almost 2 years, I couldn't walk more than half a block. It healed over time, and although there are still a few places, like puffiness on my knee caps where the dashboard dropped down on my legs, I'm healed. I can walk, I can dance, I can make love, climb stairs, everything any human body should be able to do.

So if your body works, if you can walk and dance and make love, then there is NOTHING wrong with your body. So you can waste your time worrying about what other people think or you can get out there and live your life and rock the magnificent body God gave you. When the next ice age comes and there's no food to be found, the skinny people are dead first. Remember that.

'Rani

[Miss Crafted]

Tyler, I am 5 1 and i weigh 180.
I get it.
Fuck wearing that shirt!
I'll make a deal with you.
Every time i go to the pool with out my shirt I'll tell you.
But you have to do the same for me.
It'll get easier.

Alex is my super supportive swim buddy <- a must have.
I can always be yours a thousand miles away.

[Tyler]

Thanks guys I know it might seem like a childish fear but it's the reality I live. I went yesterday and today and just sat by the pool getting some sun on my face/legs/arms while wearing my board shorts and a white-t and just kind of people watched -- how they interacted with each other. Had a conversation with a few random people. It made me feel more comfortable. I think my next day off I'll go for it, I think once I get in the water I'll be fine but it's just the first step thats the hardest. My goal is to lose 10-15 more pounds before Ramadan starts in August which will put me at a total of 80 pounds lost since this time last year. Maybe once I get a bit more tanned I'll post a little before/after picture, even though I'm still fat, I've come a long way so far and I feel good about my achievement. One day I'll be as sexy as Jay...just with a cuter face

[agunn1231]

Man i am proud of you. And think about what hallie said. FOr every day she does it you should too. I hope that it all works for the best and i believe in you

[jorlyfish]

I think it's more about confidence than anything.
I know how it is to not want to run around in public wearing essentially water-appropriate underwear (i.e. a bathing suit), I hate it. At the same time though, I'm the heaviest I've ever been - I used to weigh about 25lbs less at the same height - some of this gain is muscle but a lot of it is, well, not. My metabolism is slowing down, I'm often stressed from school and eat more, especially sugary and carb-heavy stuff I know is I should limit, but keeps me awake when I need to be. Despite all this, I'm happier now overall than I was when I was a size 2, and I think people pick up on that. Just remember most other people aren't totally happy with their beach/pool bods either I'm with Rani - I have the same insecurities now as I did then, but now I just try and look past it. There are more important things.

I also think Jay is right about some people judging you positively about putting in effort to make changes. It's like that stereotype of all the buff people at the gym glaring at the not-in-shape people there.. but how are you supposed to get in shape if you don't feel comfortable at the gym?

Congratulations on your progress so far, and keep up the good work.

[Stuie]

It's kinda all about not caring. Really. Maybe you can call it confidence.

For me I thought it was just not caring about other people.

Year ago 5'11" 380 I still went swimming in public no shirt.

This year down to 280 I don't care. People will always make fun of me for being overweight. I will never be "normal" sized. I just stopped letting it get to me. My family loves me and that's all that need.

I love you big guy... I know that's not all the love you need but it's a start.

[Zildjian]

i say go for it! Of course I would sort of be a hypocrite because I never would...but I hope you're a better man than me. That fear of judgement, or at least learning how to just do it anyways, is a huge hurdle to leap. good luck sir, keep kicking ass!

[agunn1231]

Going back to what jay says, when i see someone over weight out and about be it swimming walking or just exercising at all, I always say to Hallie "look at that guy, he's active, and i am happy for him for that." maybe the people there will say that.

[SaintPendulous]

man im not even fat and i dont like being seen without a shirt on lol, theres nothing wrong with wantin to hide what u have, but one thing ive learned about as u get older...you tend to care alot less about what people think

the first or second time you do it will be hard im sure but like once u actually dive into it (no pun intended....seriously) and get past the shakiness, you should be fine

[Dropbear]

I lost alot of weight back in HS, and I know your insecurities. Its probably true that they will judge you, thats in human nature, but as stated before, chances are it wont always be bad. One of my cousins is badly overweight and he does nothing but sit home playing video games, and when I see a bigger person at the gym or elsewhere, I dont think "oh wow look at that huge guy haha"...its more like "thats really good that hes getting out there" trying to be active or better themselves...its better than being socially awkward and avoiding the pool altogether especially being its something you love...shouldn't let a group of strangers hold you back(plus its been hot as hell outside so im sure the pool is a refreshing change >.>). But heres the thing about judging with pools...even if they do, itll only be for like a few minutes, then everyone focuses on other things...cant explain it but Ive seen it first hand lol. Don't sweat it, and just enjoy yourself...everyone out there is there for the same reason.

[Coyote]

[quote name='Zildjian' timestamp='1306947306' post='511338']
i say go for it! Of course I would sort of be a hypocrite because I never would...but I hope you're a better man than me. That fear of judgement, or at least learning how to just do it anyways, is a huge hurdle to leap. good luck sir, keep kicking ass!
[/quote]

In your case it really is the actual sun protection factor though.

I have gone from underweight to overweight a few times in my life and never stopped being body-conscious through any moment. But I have realized that it really doesn't matter what I look like, it matters how I project myself out into the universe.

People who judge people because of how they look are trying to boost their ego because they are lacking confidence in themselves. Thats their problem, not yours.

I also agree with the canonball comment.

[SaintPendulous]

also just remember....theres always going to be a bigger person lol, chances are you'll be at the pool and some behemoth will waddle in and you'll go "DAMN......now i don't feel so bad"


i see larger folks at the pool in my complex that are as white as i am and bare their bellies proudly at the pool, confidence my friend is the key

[TheScotsman]

From what I have read here, I know you are smart enough to know better than to let other people run your life. The only ability they have to affect you is that which you give them. Just take it back, and don't let them have that power.

Or... in simple terms - fuck 'em.

It gets easier to ignore the cocktards once you figure out their opinion is their own problem, not yours.


I would get a purple polkadot speedo, and enjoy the pool

[Chreees]

Haters gonna hate, Tyler! You go out there and do yo thang, brotha! Don't worry about what other people think about you.

I liked Jay's and Mush's posts best.

[TheyCallMeDave]

The way I see it, the only time you're too fat to go swimming is if your weight keeps you from physically swimming. You are nowhere NEAR that point. Go swimming. Have fun. The only people who go to the pool and judge are the people who either tan and/or go to the gym before and after their pool session.

Love ya, Tyler.

[Tyler]

Well I did it today, went swimming with a few friends who I feel really comfortable with and felt like people were looking for a while but then they just went back to their normal buisness. Felt uncomfortable getting out of the water to dry off but other than that things went pretty okay. Managed to get in a good 50 laps before it got crowded then threw a football around for a bit. All in all a pretty good time, got some sun and excercise and spent time with friends, can't ask for any more than that. Thanks for the support everyone it really did help me a lot reading all ya'lls comments.

[IainUM]

tyler, as much as we go back and forth about UM vs FSU, im glad you are feeling better about your self conscious and your body. you go to a pool with your friends and who gives a fuck about other people and what they think? they aren't your friends, and why should their opinion matter. you keep kicking ass man, and i am glad you are starting to feel better about the whole thing. seriously, who gives a fuck what some random people say? if they are ever going to make a big deal about something as little as some stranger's body type or anything like that, then their life must be terrible. you got friends that care for ya, who could ask for much more? <3

[Chreees]

[quote name='Tyler' timestamp='1307169546' post='511658']
Well I did it today, went swimming with a few friends who I feel really comfortable with and felt like people were looking for a while but then they just went back to their normal buisness. Felt uncomfortable getting out of the water to dry off but other than that things went pretty okay. Managed to get in a good 50 laps before it got crowded then threw a football around for a bit. All in all a pretty good time, got some sun and excercise and spent time with friends, can't ask for any more than that. Thanks for the support everyone it really did help me a lot reading all ya'lls comments.
[/quote]

Yay!