drfefe2 Posted February 12, 2009 Share Posted February 12, 2009 (edited) As I was perusing the Company of Hookahs, I noticed that Fusion had released a variety of new flavors. One was "Valentine";I can understand that, chocolate perhaps and some roses? The next was Sex on the Beach; again this is fine by me, the picture shows a man and a woman on the beach, everyone is happy. But as I encountered the next two flavors, I lost all respect for poor Fusion, and I did not have that much to begin with. I am absolutely perturbed by the namings of these flavors. I hope Fusion goes bankrupt because of their inability to name things. "Fuzzy Fuzzy" Seriously, What the fuck is that? A Fuzzy Fuzzy? That does not make sense, Fusion. I know what you are trying to convey to me, the consumer, that this product will taste like a Fuzzy Navel. Thank god for the picture of the orange slice, or I would think you made a teddy bear flavor, or a fleece jacket. But for the love of god why Fusion? Oranges are not Fuzzy. They are juicy. They are a little chewy. If you named it Fuzzy Juicy, I would have said "oh That flavor is about juice and fuzzy feeling".Fusion, your interpretation of Fuzzy Navel is unacceptable, I hope you rot in hell. Now, as I had said before, Fusion has already made a Sex on the Beach flavor. That is why this next flavor naming is possibly the most ambiguous, awful, atrocity of all flavor names that have ever been made. It touches on a certain nerve deep within my bowels, one that I cannot ignore.http://www.hookahcompany.com/fun_on_the_be...o_3700_prd1.htmWhat is this flavor? "Fun On The Beach" Fusion.... first of all, What the Fuck?.......are you telling me that sex is different than fun? So different that you have to make a whole different flavor, with a different tin, with a different picture of what looks like fully clothed kids on a beach smoking hookah? The best explanations I can give is that this flavor either tastes like sandcastles, volleyballs, and surfboards, Or Fusion is trying to market the sex on the beach flavor to kids, or both. Knowing that kids don't understand what sex is, Fusion has strategically taken out a word and replaced it with "fun" so that children will see this flavor and want to buy it. Frankly, Fusion, I am disgusted. You are worse than cigarette companies.But there is a more important issue at hand. If Fusion has two beach flavors, one with sex and another with fun, they are implying that the first, the sex, is lacking fun and therefore had to make a new flavor, fun on the beach. I want to know what the beach portion of the 2 flavors tastes like and I want to know what just the sex tastes like and just the fun. I want to know what happens when you take the fun out of sex and turn it into a flavor. So what does really bad sex taste like, Hookahforum? help me out. Conversely, what does the extracted sex-fun taste like. Pure fun extracted from sex. But how can we be certain this fun is sexy fun and not plain old fun time? What would a sexy time fun taste like and what would a game of monopoly fun taste like? Why doesn't fusion just make a flavor called "fun sex on the beach"? It is because they dont like sex, in fact they find it repulsing and not fun at all. I am quite positive that they are taking part of some glabal conspiricy. They secretly dont want people to have sex anymore, or at least fun sex. I am sending a letter to Fusion to express my disgust. I will take drastic measures to make sure no one will ever butcher names of Mo'assel ever again. And if I ever decide to have kids, I am keeping them far away from you, you monsters. Edited February 12, 2009 by drfefe2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tinyj316 Posted February 12, 2009 Share Posted February 12, 2009 Product naming is serious business... so is the internet... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cotsi95 Posted February 12, 2009 Share Posted February 12, 2009 WOW...all that over shisha names? I guess you wont like my blend...its called hookah sucks Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chinamon Posted February 12, 2009 Share Posted February 12, 2009 if you cant think of what "fuzzy fuzzy" means then you probably havent had much sex. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
neffertiti Posted February 12, 2009 Share Posted February 12, 2009 oh wow, this rant just make my entire day.and I totally agree with you and want to get some fun on the beach to see what the flavor is. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xpimpitox Posted February 12, 2009 Share Posted February 12, 2009 Wow just wow...too much time on your hands there buddy? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
joytron Posted February 12, 2009 Share Posted February 12, 2009 QUOTE (drfefe2 @ Feb 12 2009, 11:05 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>The best explanations I can give is that this flavor either tastes like sandcastles, volleyballs, and surfboards,Thank you for this wonderful post. I hope you take this to the top of fusions corporate ladder. or maybe fusion is just implying there are other ways to have fun on the beach. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scoop Posted February 12, 2009 Share Posted February 12, 2009 im surprised they dont have a "rub one out" flavor yet Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bye bye now have fun Posted February 12, 2009 Share Posted February 12, 2009 talking about sand and vaginas... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mattarios2 Posted February 12, 2009 Share Posted February 12, 2009 That post is pretty sad man. Every brand has crazy names, so be it. Tangiers even has static starlight, along with a few others. You clearly disliked fusion before you even saw that they had those new flavors.And you can have a good time when having sex, but having sex isn't quite "fun" per say it is more enjoyable. When I am playing basketball I have fun, I would not say i have the same feeling when playing basketball as I do when having sex.I can't even believe I am responding to this lame post, that was incredibly long, that just bashed flavor names. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
speel Posted February 12, 2009 Share Posted February 12, 2009 You want to know why? .. college kids, college kids who don't know jack about hookah, they see this and say oo this might be fun let me pick it up. I honestly dont see any other reason for it. The same with $15+ shisha. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Santino Posted February 12, 2009 Share Posted February 12, 2009 I'm pretty sure this is a joke and a pretty funny one too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mitchard Posted February 12, 2009 Share Posted February 12, 2009 QUOTE (drfefe2 @ Feb 12 2009, 11:05 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>The best explanations I can give is that this flavor either tastes like sandcastles, volleyballs, and surfboards...or crab. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zinite Posted February 12, 2009 Share Posted February 12, 2009 Isn't Sex on the Beach some sort of alcoholic mixed drink? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mattarios2 Posted February 12, 2009 Share Posted February 12, 2009 yeah i believe so.But I mean the companies could be trying to make flavors that actually do remind them of certain times. Doesn't romman have a "good times" flavor ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dylank0010 Posted February 12, 2009 Share Posted February 12, 2009 I picture sexy fun as playing Halo with a victoria secret model on my lap. She's playing too. And is not a noob. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ilikemyusername Posted February 12, 2009 Share Posted February 12, 2009 dude... you kick ass, i'm with you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chinamon Posted February 12, 2009 Share Posted February 12, 2009 QUOTE (Scoop @ Feb 12 2009, 08:38 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>im surprised they dont have a "rub one out" flavor yethahahaor a pearl necklace flavour for the ladies (and maybe a small population of men) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stuie Posted February 12, 2009 Share Posted February 12, 2009 First SB.com is not the manufacturer.Second yeah there aren't that many manufacturer sites with details, that's what this forum helps provideThird, duck! I think i hear the ban hammer....Read the Forum Rules. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stuie Posted February 12, 2009 Share Posted February 12, 2009 QUOTE (Stuie @ Feb 12 2009, 02:55 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>First SB.com is not the manufacturer.Second yeah there aren't that many manufacturer sites with details, that's what this forum helps provideThird, duck! I think i hear the ban hammer....Read the Forum Rules.Hahaha...i didn't quote now my post doesn't make sense, except for number 3..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
echotc Posted February 12, 2009 Share Posted February 12, 2009 HAHAHA Great Rant Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
a cliche affair Posted February 12, 2009 Share Posted February 12, 2009 QUOTE (Zinite @ Feb 12 2009, 01:55 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>Isn't Sex on the Beach some sort of alcoholic mixed drink?Yes sir. 3/4 oz of malibu, 3/4 oz of peach schnapps,orange juice, pineapple juice, grenadine and cream.I bartend. :] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SixPackSunday Posted February 12, 2009 Share Posted February 12, 2009 QUOTE (chinamon @ Feb 12 2009, 02:08 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>if you cant think of what "fuzzy fuzzy" means then you probably havent had much sex.if 'fuzzy fuzzy' makes you think of sex, i think your having the wrong type of sex.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
erufiku Posted February 12, 2009 Share Posted February 12, 2009 You sound just like my cultural studies prof with all that "by naming this so-and-so they are implying this-and-that". Does anyone mind if I strangle the op? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SixPackSunday Posted February 13, 2009 Share Posted February 13, 2009 QUOTE (erufiku @ Feb 12 2009, 06:58 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>You sound just like my cultural studies prof with all that "by naming this so-and-so they are implying this-and-that". Does anyone mind if I strangle the op? only if i can strangle the jap girl in your avatar Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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