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So getting off a recent heart break I've come back to the place I always come to after emotional trauma. The part where I'm emotionally detached to the situation and can look at it clearly and analyze it realistically, and hopefully critically.


The situation was, as far as I'm concerned true love, as much as one who doesn't believe in magic, or god can believe there is something more then what meets the eye. Or so I was convined at the time. All emotion so consuming and wonderful, had it been any stronger I probably would have fought tooth, nail, gun, stick with a nail through it in order to keep that emotional high.

3 months later I sit back and look at the stages I went through.

The first "this was love, and there will be more, right?"
The Second "So it's over now and it was fun but there will be more and better women who will get the chance to be with me"
the third "Perhaps what I yearn for, and miss is the idea itself, not so much the person"
and finally I sit with the notion that as much as I still enjoy her company and consider her a close friend, the sexuality, the love is all gone, and i don't miss it anymore, at least with the same intensity and rationality behind it. and I realize, with a someone pained expression that I really was in love with an idea, the person matched what the idea was but the person itself only fit the image.

Do you, hookah fiends. Have an opinion on love or care to battle/support my thoughts?
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Love is Mrs Johnny.

Putting up with my shit all these years. The rocky start to my career.
Difficult times with depression
Even JD doing something he shouldn't have with a another lady.

12 years we've been married. And she has allways stood by me. And I her.

That's love.

JD
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QUOTE (Johnny_D @ Mar 3 2007, 09:15 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Love is Mrs Johnny.

Putting up with my shit all these years. The rocky start to my career.
Difficult times with depression
Even JD doing something he shouldn't have with a another lady.

12 years we've been married. And she has allways stood by me. And I her.

That's love.

JD

a big congrats to u my friend. sounds like u really found a winner.
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Love is out there you just have to find it...and then actually put the work into the relationship! I've been with my wife almost 10 years now...The best 10 years of my life I might add. But it requires work and forgiveness.

I honestly think many in the younger generation may never find a happy marriage...You can't have a great marriage if your a selfish SOB who doesn't think about your spouse.
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QUOTE (rattler @ Mar 3 2007, 06:16 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Love is out there you just have to find it...and then actually put the work into the relationship! I've been with my wife almost 10 years now...The best 10 years of my life I might add. But it requires work and forgiveness.

I honestly think many in the younger generation may never find a happy marriage...You can't have a great marriage if your a selfish SOB who doesn't think about your spouse.



Never a truer word spoken.

We married very young (I was 21 Mrs J was 20)
Allready had my first daughter then.

It's taken a lot of work at times, and just when you thought the chips were down you had to really
put your head into it and just keep ploughing.

Is it worth it? Defintely. But like anything you reap what you sow.

JD
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I have two pieces of advice to dispense:

The first was given to me by a close friend, happily married for 24 years at the time he gave it. This was a couple weeks after his wife died from a car accident, and I was talking to him about my girlfriend at the time, seeking his council. He spoke to me, and said "Andrew, if you have to ask if it is love, then it isn't."

The second is a piece of my own. This was something I realized when I was at the bar with my guy friends, and my girlfriend was at a different bar (she was away on vacation) and called me drunkenly. Long story short, she ended up saying she loved me. Being the jaded self that I am, I replied "Jessica, why ruin a perfectly good relationship by bringing love into it?" Sure enough, after the dynamic of the relationship changed with the words she spoke (and probably the words I spoke), we split up soon there after.

Take love for what it is, or what it isn't, as the case may be. Don't rush it, and don't worry about it. There are much bigger problems in the world.
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Is built up in our minds by hollywood, and supposedly easy to find, knowing we will all reach it in the end. We won't necessarily all find it, and many just settle for what they end up with. Its as evasive and trecherous as it is beautiful and pleasing.

One of my favorite quotes, "It takes no time to fall in love, but it takes years for us to know what love is."
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QUOTE (Echo_419 @ Mar 4 2007, 12:35 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
QUOTE (camelflage @ Mar 2 2007, 03:11 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
fuck love.

lol I totally agree! I haven't had a girl friend in 6 years, I'm happy, though I wish I had a friend with benefits!



since that isnt a whole world and a half of explosive situation waiting to blow your face off....
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QUOTE (camelflage @ Mar 4 2007, 06:04 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
QUOTE (Echo_419 @ Mar 4 2007, 12:35 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
QUOTE (camelflage @ Mar 2 2007, 03:11 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
fuck love.

lol I totally agree! I haven't had a girl friend in 6 years, I'm happy, though I wish I had a friend with benefits!



since that isnt a whole world and a half of explosive situation waiting to blow your face off....


Well... I've had three boyfriends since age 14. First boyfriend: I was a dork but didn't look like it, he was a new kid and didn't know that, we were both into video games, perfect? No, I'd try to give him a hug and he'd run away. Found out a few months ago that he was gay. *shrug* Second: first kiss, ditched me after a month because I wouldn't lose my virginity to him. Third: *sigh* horrific experience. I thought it was love, turned out to be psychological abuse. Almost married him. Nightmare, ended at age 18 1/2. No boyfriends since.

Honestly, the best relationship I've had yet was with a one year long monogamous f-buddy: a Manson loving, video game playing, anime watching BODYBUILDER. It ended when he moved out to Arizona for a better job. Recently told me that what we had was the best thing he's had in his life sad.gif Unfortunately, he seems to forget the complete lack of communication between us and the fact that I'd had to be constantly entertained or else I'd start random experiments with random stuff in his apartment for my own amusement.

My point: even after a horrible experience with 'love,' I found that I'm at least getting closer to the true thing. And that f-buddies do indeed rock smile.gif
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QUOTE (Allia22 @ Mar 4 2007, 08:05 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
QUOTE (camelflage @ Mar 4 2007, 06:04 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
QUOTE (Echo_419 @ Mar 4 2007, 12:35 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
QUOTE (camelflage @ Mar 2 2007, 03:11 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
fuck love.

lol I totally agree! I haven't had a girl friend in 6 years, I'm happy, though I wish I had a friend with benefits!



since that isnt a whole world and a half of explosive situation waiting to blow your face off....


Well... I've had three boyfriends since age 14. First boyfriend: I was a dork but didn't look like it, he was a new kid and didn't know that, we were both into video games, perfect? No, I'd try to give him a hug and he'd run away. Found out a few months ago that he was gay. *shrug* Second: first kiss, ditched me after a month because I wouldn't lose my virginity to him. Third: *sigh* horrific experience. I thought it was love, turned out to be psychological abuse. Almost married him. Nightmare, ended at age 18 1/2. No boyfriends since.

Honestly, the best relationship I've had yet was with a one year long monogamous f-buddy: a Manson loving, video game playing, anime watching BODYBUILDER. It ended when he moved out to Arizona for a better job. Recently told me that what we had was the best thing he's had in his life sad.gif Unfortunately, he seems to forget the complete lack of communication between us and the fact that I'd had to be constantly entertained or else I'd start random experiments with random stuff in his apartment for my own amusement.

My point: even after a horrible experience with 'love,' I found that I'm at least getting closer to the true thing. And that f-buddies do indeed rock smile.gif



haha, the key to f-buddies is that both of you know you could never have a serious relationship. i mean really, if one person has any desire for it to develop into something more then things get messy. to leave a lot unsaid, im kinda doing the non-monogamous f-buddy deal (gotta have plans for when you travel) and one works perfectly while another consistently teeters on disaster. i know it was probably a bad idea, but the disasterous one is with a girl who i kinda knew liked me, so the possibility of things getting out of control is high. i guess i like to live dangerously.. rolleyes.gif
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Well, when we were together I was the one swallowing my emotions. He's 6 years older than me and foolishly losing faith in the fact that he'll find a girl who looks good and likes video games, so I think he's naturally just reconsidering the last relationship he was in. If I were in the same situation and didn't find a different f-buddy (all be it one that's almost 200 mi. away sad.gif ) in the past 7 months, I'd most likely be skewing the facts just like he is. And also if he were still here I'd probably still be glued to his side.
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I thought that f-buddies were allmost the soul domain of the married.

What's the point in single people fb's ? That's just two people having random sex?

I can see the benefit for married folk's having a regular safe fb though. (not that i condone such behaviour)

JD
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Time for some mush wub.gif

Me and my beloved will be married 20 yrs In oct biggrin.gif

We de-stress by hugging each other and stuff

While the road has been rough @ times, it has always been traveled together.

Love is not so much the big things as the little day-to-day things that you each do to show how you feel toward each other, along w/ coordinating the things you have to do to keep going on...

/me goes and gives wife hug on other side of the computer room wub.gif

While she doesn't like hookah, she's okay w/ it and does like some of the smells (SB-Peach - WHAT is that NICE smell biggrin.gif)

Life would be a dud w/o her...

wub.gif to my beloved biggrin.gif

P.S. Now we need thoughts from Scalli biggrin.gif Edited by hookahmike
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I was never one to believe in LOVe. I don't know if it was because everytime I showed it I got stepped on .By familey and the featured Girlfriend at the time. So instead I pushed people away and hung out with me...Iy was fun. But then I found Sarah Smiley. Sarah Smiley really makes me Smile. So much so that I took the Smiley name and became a member of the Smiley Clan. Do'nt get me wrong i love my family.But I can not pass on being a Smiley. They are a wonderful Family to be apart of.This I feel is my version of True Love. Everything is cool. Thru the good and the bad. We are together.Strong Unit and Best friends. We will have been together for Seven years this St.Patties Day.God Bless the Irish.
Smiley
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People who have not experienced true love mistake it for a feeling..... and they think that when that feeling wears off that they are no longer in love.

Love is bond. One you put yourself under. Not an emotion. Yes, the bond can spark emotions all the time some great, some hurt.

You start to think in terms of "no matter what..... and no matter why." Even if the sacrifice means you yourself risk losing everything just to benefit the other..... becasue you wouldnt have it any other way.
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