Leaving for college

[HookahDuck]

Well, here I am. I leave for Arizona State in 3 days from right now. Litterally, every aspect of my life is going to be different than it is currently. If that isnt some scary shit... someone tell me what is.Im a freshman staying in Sahuaro(an upperclassman dorm with single occupancy rooms ), enrolled as a business student. My long term goal really though, is to move onto law school after I graduate with my undergrad degree. Im taking 17 credit hours my first semester, while living on campus as a full time student and not working.I got good grades in highschool when I was actually concerned with the consequences of my own apathy (which means I was a dumbass my freshman year). Took all the honors and AP classes I could, and graduated from a competetive magnet school in Vegas while spending an average of 35-50 hours per week afterschool in the theater (It is a performing arts highscool - I was a tech theater major). I've worked the past several months for a District Assembly campaign as the assistant Campaign manager (and briefly for the NV state democratic party), managing a staff of 3 full time canvassers and balancing funds/events. I made about 40k a year doing it, which for an 18 year old isnt too bad. I know that I *can* be successful as long as I maintain my drive and work ethic. HOWEVER. Every single kid (with a few exceptions) that I know who left last school year for college, returned unsuccessful. Many of them were AP/Honor students such as myself, with higher test scores and better GPA's. Frankly to me, that is terrifying. Of course some people simply arent cut out for college; but these students were as successful if not more so than I am accademically. Im not a drinker, im not a partier. Most people say that the aforementioned vices are the reasons for people dropping out, though the majority of the kids I am speaking about were not either. Perhaps it is the newly aquired "freedom" that is granted to them. I suppose in that regard I have an advantage because my parents put very laxed restrictions regarding what I was allowed to do (ie: what time to come home, drinking, what I watch/listen to, ect) in hopes that access to those things would remove their taboo alure. It worked for the most part as I have established my own stance on them, and for the most part I am a completely responcible, law abiding citizen. I smoke hookah, cigars, and cannibis Once every couple weeks. (which in the Nevada State Constitution is legal by the way... damn Fed laws. I have worked extensivly in my short political career on behalf of lobbying for marijuana legalization in Nevada. It has been on the ballot 6 times, but our state legislature consistantly kills it.)I'd like to hear your thoughts, if you are currently enrolled in college, graduated, or have dropped out. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.-Duck

[Sonthert]

I flunked out of high school. I also graduated at UCSD, after going to a community college for eight years. I watched alot of people flunk out of UCSD (and Grossmont JC, for that matter). They were proud, disconcertingly so, of the fact that only one in three people who started at UCSD graduated. Realize, of course, that when I attended UCSD, the average GPA of someone at one of the lesser academic colleges, like Muir (No offense Muirites!) was 4.33, The average. Thats on a 4-point scale, mind you. Yet, half of them disappeared without fail, every year, despite those awesome grades. I flunked out of high school, got into UCSD through a loophole and a CalTAG agreement. I graduated...explain that. GPA doesn't mean jack. If you don't give up on yourself, they can't give up on you, its written in one of their Nazi tomes somewhere. Seriously, if you want to graduate, you will...98% probability. Even if you are broke, they will find some squirreled away money, hopefully. Believe in yourself and accept nothing less than graduation. Talk to people...the people that don't talk are the first ones to go. If things get tough, talk to more people, ask questions, appear inquisitive. Remember, its all a test. Completely. A four (five?) year long test. Do get drunk when you have time. Just remember you have to know when you have to buckle down and get shirt done....thats the whole test. Everything else in window dressing. The ones who don't drink don't fare well either. The average graduating student at UCSD, on a weekly basis, drank once a week, studied 24 hours a week, exercised 10 hours, slept 40 hours, drank 13 cups of coffee, attended class 9 times, attended one discussion group (for classes like math especially), played video games four times a week, ate 18 meals (two each M-F, and four on Sat-sun), went to every lab class that was scheduled, visted professors 1 time, broke four pencils, went exploring once, tried cooking a rabbit once, screwed underclassmen girls three times, tried sleepiong with a hot TA once, and tried to debunk an urban legend about the university twice. Very few virgins graduated. I don't know if they all flunked out or all fuc*ed out...yeah.One more thing, people get too hung up on "being their own person" or "Fanatically joining the H.A.s in becoming an indoctrinated student.". There will be a period of adjustment. Be nice, be friendly, provide tips for the hookah , don't commit one way or the other, don't try to impress people with how cool you are or what you've done unless they ask. Sorry about the dorm problem. Just keep to yourself and see if they are going to give you shirt as a frosh. Good Luck, keep in touch!

[nuschultz]

I am about to begin my senior year in college as a Criminal Justice major. There are only a few pieces of advice that I can give you. Take them or leave them.1) Enjoy college, but don't forget that you are there primarily for an education. That paper is still going to be due Friday morning, if you go out Thursday night or not. The better bet is to start stuff early and work on it in chunks, so that you arent overwhelmed at the end.2) If you can, get a job on campus. By the sounds of things, you might benefit from a library job. These jobs are easy, and usually you can work on homework while you are there which makes life easier for you.3) Avoid dining halls. The freshman 15, 20, or 25 will sneak up on you. If you are eating there, go for more salads and less burgers and fries.4) Find a couple clubs you are interested in. Most colleges have a club gala of some sort early in the year for clubs to recruit new members. Go to it, find out about clubs that interest you, or talk to the campus activities people about starting your own.5. If you are close enough to go home on the weekends, dont do it. You really miss out on college when you do that. Call home if you are homesick, but stay at college.Thats pretty much it. College can be stressful, but take it as it comes. If you have any other questions, drop me a PM.

[GuyWithTheGun]

I waited 5 years after high school to go to college. That being said, my only advice is go to college only when you really want to. Don't do it because it's expected of you, because then you're just going to be miserable.That shouldn't be a problem though, from the way you're talking. I thought college would be another high school but it turns out it's just the opposite. Your personality is tons more important than who you hang out with or what sports you play or how much money you have. As far as the people go, I couldn't give you better advice than that you've already been given. Pass the hookah around, that's gonna make a lot of friends, and just keep an eye on your stuff, because no matter where you are, people have sticky fingers. Laptop in eyesight at all times, if you have one, and the like. Everyone I know has had a bunch of stuff stolen out of dorms, cars, etc, because theres always that element that has to be "hardcore thug", or just people who plain need money. So just keep your expensive items close, and hopefully only crap you don't want disappears.That's really all I have. I'm only in my second year of school myself, so good luck.

[DarthHookah]

you wanna talk about drastic life changes? how about leaving your mom and dads house to go to boot camp?

[nuschultz]

Darth, my buddy did that. Left a very pampered lifestyle (mom and dad both making around 250k a year. each.) to join the army.Holy culture shock.

[DarthHookah]

well, i wasnt exactly sitting in the lap of luxury, but it was still a shock.

[Scheetz]

here is what you need to do. it will be brief because it doesnt need to be complicated. I am a junior by the way so this will make sense.A: Only party and drink on weekends, Fri. SatB: if you have a day off like wednesday, then you can drink tuesday nightC: dont join a frat, it will screw you over, honestly its worthless to pay to have friends. i did it, its not worth it. you are treated like shit and if your far away from home you already are in a bad spot and dont need more shit in your life. you can join clubs to have friends, hell you will meet the guys in frats anyway and may become friends with them. Sure i enjoy the friends I made but looking back, I would have met them anyway, sports bring alot of people into your life including alot of frats.D: go to class, dont skip out of itE: get late classes, morning classes are stupid and you fall asleep when you are bored, which you will beF: become "friends" with as many people as you can with your major, it will help you out.G: have a good friend who is also in your major as your roomate in the dorms. Have the same classes or atleast the same professor.again, keep the boosing and drugs if you use them to a min. if you boose all the time you wont make it through class and you will be just like the other kids you knew, coming home and failing out of school.people can disagree with me, but this is the best thing you can do to be successful in college.edit: damn dude, 17 credits your first semester is a bit high. You may want to drop 1 class so you transition into college life easier. If you are always in class you wont like college and you arnt going to want to go to law school. Take your first year easy, enjoy the freedom you will have but be wise about it.

[nuschultz]

C: dont join a frat, it will screw you over, honestly its worthless to pay to have friends. i did it, its not worth it. you are treated like shit and if your far away from home you already are in a bad spot and dont need more shit in your life.Sounds like greek life at your school is a lot different than ours.

[Sonthert]

[quote name='ScheetzC: dont join a frat' date=' it will screw you over, honestly its worthless to pay to have friends. i did it, its not worth it. you are treated like shit and if your far away from home you already are in a bad spot and dont need more shit in your life. you can join clubs to have friends, hell you will meet the guys in frats anyway and may become friends with them. Sure i enjoy the friends I made but looking back, I would have met them anyway, sports bring alot of people into your life including alot of frats.[/QUOTE'] Bull. I am the man I am today because of my involvement in the fraternity. Its worth it to some people, its a positive influence on some people. If you joined a stupid, drunk fraternity, thats your issue. I can't say, I don't know the men. If you made a bad decision, for the wrong reasons with poor quality people, thats your fault...don't burden other people with your baggage. My fraternity brothers were all fine men of the highest caliber, with the utmost of quality of character. Friendship has nothing to do with it. When you join a fraternity for friends, you end up with nothing. My fraternity brothers would never treat another brother shabbily or "like shit". Don't paint my fraternity chapter with your dirty paintbrush. If you want to say black people are criminals or Mexicans are lazy, or any other stupid stereotype go ahead. When you talk about all fraternity chapters are a certain way, you are talking about my fraternity chapter. You don't know my fraternity chapter, don't run it down. You can say what you want about me, but when you impugn my fraternity brothers, whom you don't know, and aren't here, I have a problem with that. You contradicted yourself, inadvertantly. There are clubs and people get much of the same thing they get in fraternities, They have parties, they have social interaction, you make friends. I would guess you never put it out on the line, you never risked anything, so nobody in your chapter risked anything for you. Yet there are still fraternities. Since 1776, in fact. If your tripe is true, then how come fraternites still exist? Bill Clinton was the first US president since George Washington that wasn't a fraternity brother of one fraternity or another. Coincedence? Highly unlikely. Did those men learn something you missed in your fraternity, that made them great enough to become president of the United States of America? I think so. You won't ever know what it is, either. I'm nowhere near as irritated as this post might suggest. No emoticon does it justice.

[Scheetz]

please.......... what did you join the 4.0 gpa frat that has apple juice parties? Probably the only frats that dont have a hell week. and all they do at them is give you a time limit to fix a windows error.every frat is going to be different depending on what college you are at. But you still go through the basics. I gather you enjoyed hell week tangiers? or did you even do it?You also have like 10+ years on most of us dont you?? Your view is completely different than the shit we go through now. Yeah you paid your dues, and so will everyone else. But the new age people have stepped it up a notch. One which I feel is uncalled for, dont get me wrong I love to party and do stupid shit. I had fun with naked keg stands and some of the other bullshit we did at 300 person parties. But go think about it, you put all this energy into being the frats bitch/rat for the first year than what, you made some friends and now you get to return the following year putting some other kid through the same shit you did plus whatever you can come up with.Hmmm lets see, ah yeah drinking night the first week. 18 people. You throw up guess what, your drinking/eating that too. MMMMMMMM fucking awsome, I lucked out. I didnt yack till after the time was up. Disgusting isnt it, we were a mild hell week compared to what others went through.Ah yes, my brothers frat, different chapter and school did worse shit than us. They even dropped off the rats 10 miles away from campus in another county in the middle of a farm field in just their boxers and no money/phone/map when they were completely smashed. I guess I should mention it was the middle of november with a nice warm average temperature of 55 degrees. Sucks doesnt it.I guess you lucked out their tangiers, I have yet to meet someone who joined a frat that didnt put them through bullshit. I guess those monopoly nights were pretty crucial. My point still rests that sports still would have allowed me to make the same friends I have now. Go join some well rounded clubs that arnt prettend frats. You can party all you want with them but they arnt going to be as crazy as frats and sports teams.Whatever, this is fucking pointless. In your eyes you made the right decision in the frat, in my eyes I made the right decision in joining a frat. But if your in the shoes of the original poster who is taking 18 credit hours as a freshman and wont be used to having the freedom from home then joining a frat wont be a very good idea. You should know this tangiers, you have to put alot of time and energy into a frat and the little free time he is going to have he is going to want as party/hookah/relaxing/woman time. not being someone's little brother and the frats bitch. most of the guys I met that were outa town people didnt make it through because they couldnt handle it. They are great guys I am still friends with them, just their freshman year it was too much going on and they just couldnt deal with it.

[Sonthert]

[quote name='Scheetz']please.......... what did you join the 4.0 gpa frat that has apple juice parties? Probably the only frats that dont have a hell week. and all they do at them is give you a time limit to fix a windows error.[/quote]You have already decided what fraternities are like...how many universities have you been to...1, 2 something like that? You know everything there is to know about fraternities. Our fraternity, established 1848, prohibits hazing, it prohibits hell week, and our chapter followed those edicts religiously. We did all the things we chose to do, not things forced on us by upperclassmen, and we still treated each other with respect. Sure, there were responsibilites, but they weren't meted out like punishments or retribution. Too bad your fraternity sucked. Like I said, thats you, thats your experiences. If you're so hot fired to make prejudiced, ignorant statements about all fraternities, fine, please add a line each time that says "except Fiji at UCSD" or something to that effect.[quote name='Scheetz']every frat is going to be different depending on what college you are at. But you still go through the basics. I gather you enjoyed hell week tangiers? or did you even do it?[/quote]We did not go through your "basics", and we deplore the back-water mentality that condones mistreatment of your fraternity brothers as training or education. Drink all you want, but do it because you want to, not becuase somebody is making you. Your basics are not basics. They are relics of times gone by. The world is changing and so are fraternities. [quote name='Scheetz']You also have like 10+ years on most of us dont you?? Your view is completely different than the shit we go through now.  Yeah you paid your dues, and so will everyone else.  But the new age people have stepped it up a notch.  One which I feel is uncalled for, dont get me wrong I love to party and do stupid shit.  I had fun with naked keg stands and some of the other bullshit we did at 300 person parties.  [/quote]I do have ten years on ya, but I joined in 1996, graduated in 2000. How is it different? Fraternities in "my day" were seriously more disruptive than they are now. Yeah we used to keg stand and drink all day Friday, most of Saturday and some of Sunday frequently. Only 300 people? What was wrong with your fraternity? We had 500 people parties on nights when we didn't plan to have a party and 2000 people on nights when we did. [quote name='Scheetz']But go think about it, you put all this energy into being the frats bitch/rat for the first year than what, you made some friends and now you get to return the following year putting some other kid through the same shit you did plus whatever you can come up with.[/quote]No, you have it all wrong. I looked into six fraternities , and I met people and made friends. I eliminated them one by one and narrowed it down to two choices, then I decided on Fiji. First I made friends in the fraternity, then I joined the fraternity. Not the other way around. If you go around handing out cards that say "Join our fraternity", you are going to get alot of people that shouldn't be in college, let alone in a fraternity. It takes time and effort to find the right people to join a fraternity chapter. Of course, there will always be "meat houses" that take anyone drunk enough, but the finest houses get to know you for 2-8 months before offering a pledge. It used to be that your family, their income and professions were of consequence, in addition to the quality of your character. Our fraternity was not like that, quality of character was everything. [quote name='Scheetz']Hmmm lets see, ah yeah drinking night the first week. 18 people. You throw up guess what, your drinking/eating that too. MMMMMMMM fucking awsome, I lucked out. I didnt yack till after the time was up.  Disgusting isnt it, we were a mild hell week compared to what others went through.[/quote]Really. Sounds like you made a really dumb choice about which chapter to join. If I went to your college, it would have been none of the above. What fraternity were you in, what school did you go to (What were the chapter letters?). Out of curiosity.[quote name='Scheetz']Ah yes, my brothers frat, different chapter and school did worse shit than us. They even dropped off the rats 10 miles away from campus in another county in the middle of a farm field in just their boxers and no money/phone/map when they were completely smashed. I guess I should mention it was the middle of november with a nice warm average temperature of 55 degrees. Sucks doesnt it.[/quote]It does. My fraternity's national would shut down a chapter, no questions asked, if something like that happened. Most of all the respectable fraternity nationals would, too. [quote name='Scheetz']I guess you lucked out their tangiers, I have yet to meet someone who joined a frat that didnt put them through bullshit. I guess those monopoly nights were pretty crucial. My point still rests that sports still would have allowed me to make the same friends I have now. Go join some well rounded clubs that arnt prettend frats. You can party all you want with them but they arnt going to be as crazy as frats and sports teams.[/quote]We played sports, we played monopoly, we drank and ran through girl's dorm halls. Many of us were members of clubs, too. If you make the mistake of joining a fraternity for friends, you won't get a thing out of it. Like I said, not all fraternities are "crazy". Just because all you see in bumpkin-ville are moronic, doesn't mean they are that way everywhere. I still have all the friends I could ever want, some of them were in the fraternity, some of them weren't. All the guys in the fraternity, including myself, couldn't imagine life without having been in the chapter. It makes our blood circulate, our lungs expand, to this day and for the rest of our days. [quote name='Scheetz']Whatever, this is fucking pointless.[/quote]You should have thought of that before you wrote a response! [quote name='Scheetz']In your eyes you made the right decision in the frat, in my eyes I made the right decision in joining a frat.  But if your in the shoes of the original poster who is taking 18 credit hours as a freshman and wont be used to having the freedom from home then joining a frat wont be a very good idea.  You should know this tangiers, you have to put alot of time and energy into a frat and the little free time he is going to have he is going to want as party/hookah/relaxing/woman time. not being someone's little brother and the frats bitch. most of the guys I met that were outa town people didnt make it through because they couldnt handle it.  They are great guys I am still friends with them, just their freshman year it was too much going on and they just couldnt deal with it.[/quote] Joining a fraternity isn't as easy as picking out which greek letters look best on a sweatshirt. The University's atmosphere, the national fraternities represented there, the strength of the IFC. The character and personality of the person in question, obviously. Sometimes, maybe even a majority of the time, joining a fraternity is the worng idea. On average, schools that have greek systems have higher GPAs than schools that do not or have banned them. I would guess GPA has something positive to do with getting a job, if not how much you are learning. So, seemingly, fraternities are a positive influence. I wouldn't know, I was a chemical engineering major. About a third of the chapter were engineering majors. We took 12, 15, 18 even 20 quarter units sometimes. Not having enough time wasn't an issue. Its like taking a shower. If its important enough, you make time. I think you missed something that could have been a defining moment of your life.Is any of this helping HD?

[Scheetz]

hmmm, no hazing seems like I should have found a frat that did that. All though I dont see myself hanging out with engineer majors. Either way I would have gone through hazing, sports still do it. Well most sports that I have been apart of or have friends apart of do. Just different levels of them.Well I dont know how your school and your college friends are, but I would say majority of my friends I have met in college are pretty much school only friends. Most are out of state people some are a few states away. The friends who I am with the most are all High school friends. Even the ones at other colleges, when they come home for break or something we call each other up. The ones I live with are guys I have been friends with for 6 years now.Thinking on this, my brother is actually the same way. He moved out to cali and 4 of his high school friends went with him. Im not even sure if he still hangs out with any of his frat friends. Kinda weird.....I guess the saying still stands, you have friends and drinking buddies. And damnit, you need to post on a alias or something. everytime i see your damn name I remember I need to order some damn shisha of yours. and for the record, NO i dont think this is helping HD. although it gives him 2 views on frat life.

[ghostofdavid]

Our private school doesn't have frats or their female counterparts.

[Scheetz]

thats how my original school was. Your sport was a "frat/sor" They didnt have to be, but most of them did hazing of their own.we also only had a little over 2000 people with 700 living on campus. campus life pretty much sucked ass, which even with my friends that I made there I left the school cause for the amount of money I was spending the school wasnt worth it.

[ghostofdavid]

Don't all frats have to have in their rulebooks that hazing is against their "Code of Ethics?" to be official Greek?

[Sonthert]

Mmmm, no. I believe all fraternities that are members of the National Interfraternity Council are required that hazing fall under the most severe offense, as severe as being arrested for a felony or something. There are certain activites that the IFC prohibits, additionally, above and beyond the rules that national fraternity rules are. Fraternities that are not members of the IFC can write whatever rules they want to. Some fraternities are nationally IFC, but locally non-IFC. They don't have their local IFC as a watchdog and don;t have to follow the specific IFC rules, but their national still watches them.

[Scheetz]

Thats why Sig Ep only has issues when the school finds out about what went on. ;)But yes hazing is banned in everything college, sports frats and the what not. However, most dont really follow it. Others just feel that drinking isnt hazing. In some ways it is, others it not.

[nuschultz]

The InterGreek Council at my school is currently fighting the system, because the Lacrosse team got caught hazing, and it made it to the media. They got 5 hours of community service each. Whereas greek life on our campus recently got pounded because one of the sororitys held their banquet at a place and someone in another banquet room, not even connected to theirs, got into a fist fight. University administration basically said it was an unsafe venue. We are all on "watch" for 2 years because of it.The stigma attached to greek life is absolutely ridiculous. Shows like MTV Frat Life and things of that nature just ruin everything that the non asshole frats and sors are working for.Side note: all the frats and sors on our campus are either IFC (frats) or Panhelenic Council (sors). Those are the national organizations that help govern greek life.Side side note: NYS has VERY VERY strict anti hazing laws.

[Blue Lantern]

I think Greek life is really what you make of it. It's like any other student org where you can meet people, develop connections, and what not. However, a fraternity sometimes goes beyond that because a group of men are linked together by more than just friendships but a bond of sorts. I really don't know how to say it without saying too much. Anyways, in the end it's really what you make of it. If you joined the wrong house then sure it can be lame and a waste of money. BUT if you joined the right house then you don't see it as just a "frat" but a house that is built upon friendship because it's the guys and their bonds that make the house.That's my opinion on the Greek system.

[Lukasa]

HookahDuck- you're not really a partyer or drinker??? You'll be pretty out of place at ASU, from what I've heard anyway. Also, what was your SAT/ACT score?