gib0r Posted March 21, 2006 Share Posted March 21, 2006 Chuck Norris once traveled back in time to stop JFK from being assassinated. Upon deflecting all 3 bullets with his beard, Kennedy’s head exploded out of sheer amazement. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
surfpico Posted March 21, 2006 Share Posted March 21, 2006 Oh god...not those again!My brother is obsessed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pacha Posted April 15, 2006 Share Posted April 15, 2006 Chuck Norris uses a night light when he sleeps, not because he is afraid of the dark, but because the dark is afraid of him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sonthert Posted April 16, 2006 Share Posted April 16, 2006 Who is Chuck Norris?Why do people always call them "light-bulbs"?Any educated person can plainly see that they are dark suckers; they suck the darkness away. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sunnyD Posted April 17, 2006 Share Posted April 17, 2006 yeah whose chuck norris *uses google* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soup Posted April 17, 2006 Share Posted April 17, 2006 I'm glad the whole Chuck Norris this has ended. That was worse than Napoleon Dynamite, albiet shorter. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
coolaskimdeal Posted April 29, 2006 Share Posted April 29, 2006 oh my god, i totally don't understand where this chuck norris phenomenon came from but i am still constantly amused by it. my top five: there is no global warming. chuck norris was cold, so he turned the sun up. chuck norris drives an ice cream truck covered in human skulls. if you spell chuck norris in scrabble you win. forever. chuck norris once ate a whole cake before his friends could tell him there was a stripper in it. chuck norris grinds his coffee with his teeth and boils the water with his own rage. alright that's enough out of me because i know everyone is sick of them except me since i was totally the last one on the bandwagon Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SanguineSolitude Posted May 2, 2006 Share Posted May 2, 2006 how about real facts. Chuck norris is the only westerner EVER to earn an 8th degree black belt in tae kwon do.Chuck Norris was a 6 time undefeated world professional middleweight karate champion. he retired after the 6 years, still undefeated.he also was the star of the telivision show walker texas ranger.those are all real. the fake ones are amusing, but chuck norris is unbelievable.one of my favorite "facts" is that chuck norris's tears cure cancer, too bad he's never cried. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DarthHookah Posted May 24, 2006 Share Posted May 24, 2006 a blind man once stepped on chuck norris' foot. chuck yelled "do you know who i am? im chuck norris!" the mere mention of his awesome name instantly cured the man of his blindness. unfortunately, the fist, last and only thing he ever saw was a roundhouse kick from chuck norris. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NEO_WRX Posted June 16, 2006 Share Posted June 16, 2006 when bruce banner gets mad..he turns into the hulk. When the hulk gets mad..he turns into chuck norris. every night before bed, the boogey-man checks his closet..for chuck norris. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SanguineSolitude Posted July 2, 2006 Share Posted July 2, 2006 there are no earthquakes, only chuck norris flexing. guns dont kill people, chuck norris kills people there is no evolution, just a list of animals chuck norris allows to live chuck norris does not sleep, he waits the chief export of chuck norris is pain crop circles are chuck norris' way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie down the great wall of china was originally created to keep chuck norris out, it failed miserably THE QUICKEST WAY TO A MANS HEART IS WITH CHUCK NORRIS' FIST! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hookahnoob Posted July 6, 2006 Share Posted July 6, 2006 Chuck Norris will never die from a heart attack. His heart would never be stupid enouth to attack him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xpimpitox Posted July 31, 2006 Share Posted July 31, 2006 my personal fave... chuck norris found both carmen sandiego and waldo and roundkicked them in the face!!!! lol i love it! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
alice Posted July 31, 2006 Share Posted July 31, 2006 [quote name='SanguineSolitude']crop circles are chuck norris' way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie down[/quote] Hahahah. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
malakas Posted August 15, 2006 Share Posted August 15, 2006 Chuck Norris once ate 3 75 ounce steaks in an hour. The first 45 minutes cosisted of him having sex with his waitress.Chuck Norris cannot say nor write his own name as it is against his religion. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DarthHookah Posted September 7, 2006 Share Posted September 7, 2006 if chuck norris is ever running late, time better slow the fuck down Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shimshamsam2 Posted September 12, 2006 Share Posted September 12, 2006 when chuck norris donates blood he denies the needle and instead asks for a hand-gun and a bucketChuck Norris spends his saturdays climing mountains and medatating in peaceful solitude... sundays are for KFC, sex and tequila Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lwieise Posted September 14, 2006 Share Posted September 14, 2006 I've already mentioned this in the RIP Steve Irwin thread but...Steve was/wasn't even afraid of Chuck. Steve had what equals to an accidental lobotomy when he was younger that supposedly altered his sense of fear. Thats why he wrestled 3 crocs, a gator AND Chuck Norris before he was killed. The stingray was actually a super-secret op called down from a joint collaboration between the CIA, KGB, MI-8, Yoda and al Queda. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DarthHookah Posted September 14, 2006 Share Posted September 14, 2006 its awesome that steve irwin has earned his own random facts. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shimshamsam2 Posted September 14, 2006 Share Posted September 14, 2006 when steve irwin made it to the pearly gates he was shocked to fine god is actually a gian croc. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DownZero Posted September 20, 2006 Share Posted September 20, 2006 I never got into this Chuck NOrris thing, it exploded and died out of nowhere. (at least I hope it died) Although I must say the one that stands out in my mind and was great was:Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King and got one. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
entrailsgalore Posted September 22, 2006 Share Posted September 22, 2006 Man is at the top of the food chain, right under Chuck Norris.Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and kick himself in the head. Chuck Norris never uses 100% of his stregnth because if he were to release his full energy and strength while fighting, he would cause every atomic particle in the entire universe to simultaneously explode causing a chain reaction that would destroy the universe as we know it.The Sonic Boom was Chuck Norris farting and creating Life. We worship to God, God worhips to Chuck Norris.The Superman character was based on Chuck Norris' true life.Chuck Norris doesnt need to eat, he gets his nutrition by roundhouse kicking people in the face.Everytime Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks a person, a baby is born.Just by looking at him, Chuck Norris can cure any illness or cancer.Chuck Norris is so strong, he punched a hole in the Ozone layer. If you go into a bathroom and turn out the lights then repeat "Chuck Noris'" name 5 times, a fist will comeout of the mirror and punch you in the face. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Macho555 Posted September 22, 2006 Share Posted September 22, 2006 My favorite is "Chuck Norris once had a staring contest with the sun, and that's how the first eclipse happened." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lukasa Posted September 23, 2006 Share Posted September 23, 2006 Some guys thought Chuck Norris jokes were still funny, so Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked them in the nuts. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DarthHookah Posted September 23, 2006 Share Posted September 23, 2006 chuck norris jokes rule. you obviously havent seen "delta force" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now