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Gay Or Bi Hookah Smokers?


Tyler

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[quote name='auntieneedscoffee' timestamp='1310383350' post='515450']
Oh, dear. Seems I came in at an awkward time. j/k. Umm...bi (possibly pan if you want to get technical, though I don't care too much)+ poly here, in a long-term relationship with a woman, but we're open to the occasional bit of fun with others regardless of sex and/or gender. Got more important things to do than put everyone I meet into a certain box, ya know? :drinks:
[/quote]

Welcome to the club! We've had quite a turnout of bi smokers here.
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[quote name='Epoch' timestamp='1310404013' post='515498']
[quote name='auntieneedscoffee' timestamp='1310383350' post='515450']
Oh, dear. Seems I came in at an awkward time. j/k. Umm...bi (possibly pan if you want to get technical, though I don't care too much)+ poly here, in a long-term relationship with a woman, but we're open to the occasional bit of fun with others regardless of sex and/or gender. Got more important things to do than put everyone I meet into a certain box, ya know? :drinks:
[/quote]

Welcome to the club! We've had quite a turnout of bi smokers here.
[/quote]

Thanks! : ]
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Well looks like I've missed a lot. I didn't mean for this to turn into an argurment/debate kind of thing I was merely courious...my sociology side poking out a bit (sat in on a grad level class on sexuality and population economy). Personally, I don't care if people are gay, straight, bi, whatever (as long as it's only humans) as long as you truly love someone and it's not a lust-based feeling or action then I don't see any problem with who does what with who. I understand where Scrappy is coming from, I have many friends who hold the same opinion and stance on the subject, and they all come from varying backgrounds, the Middle East Gulf region, the Shem region, America (north and south) and different parts of Europe. They are all of different religions and philosophy as well. I'm of the nature that if one of my friends find something offensive or bothersome, that I want to try to avoid that action/thing while around them. One of my friends is a very conservative Muslim so when I am visiting her house, with her husband there, I always wear pants and polo shirts, I don't use foul language, and I don't speak about things such as homosexuality. It doesn't bother me to alter my behavior slightly for the comfort of someone else. But I also cannot control the actions of my other friends or family. Everyone has their own personal opinion about everything, and yes, most of the time you can find a group of people who think just like you do, but never all the time. Just because I alter my outward behavior for a reason or comfort of someone else does not change who I am on the inside. At the end of the day, love God, love yourself, and try your best to make other's lives better when you can.
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[quote name='Scrappydoo' timestamp='1310397068' post='515475']
[quote name='vendetta_revived' timestamp='1310383234' post='515449']
[quote name='Scrappydoo' timestamp='1310371041' post='515442']
NOT EVEN the same concept. Not to be graphic, but men and women have different body parts. As I understand it, a BI person is attracted to both and since I don't have a penis, I am wondering if his getting rid of half of his attraction would eventually cause him to cheat. Don't oversimplify it. Men together having gay sex is not the same as a woman and man having sex. IF a man is going to cheat with another woman it is not because he is missing some body part that I don't have. Honestly, I don't understand bi.. [u]I am not homophobic but I don't understand bi or gay, I think a man and woman together is a beautiful thing.[/u]
[/quote]

Erm...sorry, but you sound very much like a homophobic. Someone saying that they don't understand gay, or bi is like someone saying that they don't understand 'straight'. I am not trying to force my opinion on you, and not trying to force you to understand it, the thing is that it doesn't require any more understanding than to understand being straight. It's not limited to humans only, animals are gay too, just as they are straight.

[quote name='Scrappydoo' timestamp='1310378704' post='515444']
I am trying to be more practical. I look in my pants--that's a woman. Look in my husband's pants, man. Those parts fit together. I don't know about all the getting in touch with your opposite sex side or any of that stuff. I never thought of myself as closed minded but as I ponder Xtian's post, I guess I am more so than I thought because I guess I could never marry a man who admits he is bisexual and I would probably divorce one if I found out after. Just me.
[/quote]


[quote name='Scrappydoo' timestamp='1310379083' post='515446']
ALso, I think it's unfair to assign personality traits to a certain gender. I know hetero men who are more nurturing with children than I could ever be. I know females who are WAY better athletes or soldiers than any man I know. Sex is an act. In long term relationships there are traditional roles and couples who refuse to fall into traditional roles. I don't know, Tyler opened a BIG can of worms! LOL! As I said, I guess I am more closed minded that I would like to admit. [u]I have gay freinds but in all reality, I would rather NOT know what any of my friends enjoy in the bedroom, that's private and their business.[/u] Maybe Uncle Tom is a sado-masochist, his business. [u]I think sexual acts and sexual preferences should be each of our right to enjoy as we please, nobody else's business and private. I hate when people feel the need to shout from the rooftops what they enjoy in sex.[/u] Labels are for designer clothes.
[/quote]

Don't think anyone is shouting anything about it, people are simply identifying themselves as who they are, without going into any details as far as I can read.

Note: I am 100% straight, and I am not trying to attack you, sorry if it sounds like I am, but there was something I can't pin point in your comments that kind of got me riled over.
[/quote]

A HOMOPHOBIC, phobic meaning afraid, would be a person who hates, is afraid, judgemental of homosexuals. This is not me. I am just not gay, have no desire to explore that, don't understand the attraction. Does that make me a hater? Does that make me afraid? NO! I already said, I have quite a few friends and coworkers who are gay or I suspect but it doesn't affect what I think of them as a person.

Well, if you "pin point" it, I'd be interested to know what I said thas has your feathers all riled. What I mean, if I can explain it, is that I don't [i]understand[/i] gay. FOR ME. I can see another woman's naked body and find nothing attractive about it, have no desire to do anything to it. I see a sexy man and I think, "wow, I'd like to do xxxx--fill in the blank." IF I saw a naked woman, I would be annoyed. " Go put your clothes on!" Everyone is different and you can't be mad at someone who doesn't LIKE what you do. I also don't like chocolate. Is that OK? I don't like it, have no desire to eat it, if there was never chocolate on this earth again, I wouldn't care. I am not trying to over-simplify such a complicated subject. You can't say that there are not some Homosexuals who use that one label to define everything they do. I didn't say here,specifically, but it gets annoying. What a person does in the bedroom shouldn't define everything they do and personally I could care less if a person has sex with the opposite sex, the same sex or a blow up doll. It is your business and I'd rather not know unless you are a close friend or family.
[/quote]

Really? Your statement was that you 'don't understand gay', but the only thing you've explained is that you are NOT gay. I believe that there is a difference there, don't you? Edited by vendetta_revived
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[quote name='vendetta_revived' timestamp='1310383234' post='515449']
[quote name='Scrappydoo' timestamp='1310371041' post='515442']
[u]I am not homophobic but I don't understand bi or gay, I think a man and woman together is a beautiful thing.[/u]
[/quote]

Erm...sorry, but you sound very much like a homophobic. Someone saying that they don't understand gay, or bi is like someone saying that they don't understand 'straight'.
[/quote]

Sorry, to venture off-topic but this thought is extremely irrational. How does not understanding something equate to being afraid of it? And don't quote "People fear what they don't understand." I don't understand the valuation of "precious art" (recollecting a conversation with Jordan), however I'm not having nightmares about Degas' works attacking me either.

I do not understand most bi/gay topics, but certainly do not have any fears or reservations about gay or bisexual people.
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First let me clarify my intentions: They are not to fight with anyone over anything. I've learnt a lot from this place and like the people here a lot, and really don't want to give off any bad vibes that go against the general vibe of this forum.

Secondly, I'd love to hear about any topics about gay/bi people that one finds hard to understand? I can very well be wrong and it will be better for me to be corrected and learn something new.
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Sorry, to venture off-topic but this thought is extremely irrational. How does not understanding something equate to being afraid of it? And don't quote "People fear what they don't understand." I don't understand the valuation of "precious art" (recollecting a conversation with Jordan), however I'm not having nightmares about Degas' works attacking me either.

I do not understand most bi/gay topics, but certainly do not have any fears or reservations about gay or bisexual people.
[/quote]

[font="Georgia"][size="2"][color="#4b0082"]Thank you! As always, your answers are one of my favs! That's it. I don't understand the attraction and I was talking about this forum, thread with some friends tonight to see if THEY understand my point of view. I don't hate or even think I judge gay or bisexual for their choice. I am uncomfortable with ANYONE who gives too much information about their sex life (or bathroom or hygiene habits) and for that I thank Tyler for his response. My opinions don't come from my religious beliefs or background, I have a lesbian aunt whom I love dearly, I served with many gay people in the Army (yes, even before clinton fartzed it up).

What I am saying, and I really can't dumb it down ANYMORE is this. I don't understand it, I don't live it, it is not in my mind. If a naked woman came into my office, I wouldn't be thinking anything but "get your clothes on and get out of here." IF I were free and single and so inclined and a naked man was in my office, I'd be thinking what I'd like to do......I'd be looking him over! EVERY one of us is different, our tastes, our preferences, our opinions, that's what makes this a beautiful world. Do I want to hear about Uncle Rick's foot fetish or my boss's desire for a spanking or if any of my coworkers or acquaintenances are gay or bi? Would I like to tell you about what makes sex with my husband special? NO thanks.

I keep saying this is the last time I will post but I am tired of feeling attacked. I have not done anything wrong.
[/color][/size][/font]
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[quote name='vendetta_revived' timestamp='1310418917' post='515542']
First let me clarify my intentions: They are not to fight with anyone over anything. I've learnt a lot from this place and like the people here a lot, and really don't want to give off any bad vibes that go against the general vibe of this forum.

Secondly, I'd love to hear about any topics about gay/bi people that one finds hard to understand? I can very well be wrong and it will be better for me to be corrected and learn something new.
[/quote]


[font="Georgia"][size="2"][color="#4b0082"]I don't feel that I am so ignorant that I need "it" explained. It all boils down to what you enjoy sexually and what you're attracted to. I am not attracted to short men, red heads, skinny men or men with long hair. Do I have to answer for that too? I am redhead phobic with a skinnymania. As far as my comment to Xtian, I would really worry that if I was married to someone whose interests and desires were something I can't fulfill, would he eventually resent me?

Politically, I understand fighting for the right for marriage. What I don't understand is why they don't find civil unions acceptable, when non religious hetero couples do. You can't and shouldn't change what someone believes religiously. I think states should allow gay marriages but shouldn't force a church to. I understand someone wanting to have a child with their life partner, buy a house with them, have their rights covered with insurance and wills. I don't understand why THAT is such a battle when if you really love someone they should be able to care for them. [/color][/size][/font]
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I understand what you're saying BB, I just don't know how to explain it any better than you already have, some things are just lost between minds. It's not a big deal, we acknowledge there are differences of mind and while no one will ultimately agree or disagree, understanding is the closest we can come to either. Personally, I consider myself bisexual because I find both men and women attractive. That doesn't mean that I find ALL men and ALL women attractive, nor does it mean that I have a higher affinity of one over the other. I couldn't realy care less if I fall in love with a woman, have a beautiful relationship that may or may not include children, just as much as I could care less if I fall in love with a man and have a beautiful relationship that may or may not involve children (probably adopted since there are so many children out there who need loving homes anyways, I can't fathom bringing another child into the world at this point in time). Ultimately the only thing I ask is that inshallah God finds my relationship with whoever I happen to fall in love with pleasing and honoring of God's will. Some would argue that this cannot be done in a male-male sexual relationship and while I disagree I honor their opinion. The second thing that I ask is that while I know others will most certainly find my relationship, if it is with a man, detestible, that my true friends, family, and loved ones accept me for who i have chosen to give my heart. To me the issue is that simple and that complex. Now lets all hug and make a lovely hookah and enjoy each other's company!
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[quote name='Tyler' timestamp='1310422601' post='515558']
I understand what you're saying BB, I just don't know how to explain it any better than you already have, some things are just lost between minds. It's not a big deal, we acknowledge there are differences of mind and while no one will ultimately agree or disagree, understanding is the closest we can come to either. Personally, I consider myself bisexual because I find both men and women attractive. That doesn't mean that I find ALL men and ALL women attractive, nor does it mean that I have a higher affinity of one over the other. I couldn't realy care less if I fall in love with a woman, have a beautiful relationship that may or may not include children, just as much as I could care less if I fall in love with a man and have a beautiful relationship that may or may not involve children (probably adopted since there are so many children out there who need loving homes anyways, I can't fathom bringing another child into the world at this point in time). Ultimately the only thing I ask is that inshallah God finds my relationship with whoever I happen to fall in love with pleasing and honoring of God's will. Some would argue that this cannot be done in a male-male sexual relationship and while I disagree I honor their opinion. The second thing that I ask is that while I know others will most certainly find my relationship, if it is with a man, detestible, that my true friends, family, and loved ones accept me for who i have chosen to give my heart. To me the issue is that simple and that complex. Now lets all hug and make a lovely hookah and enjoy each other's company!
[/quote]

[font="Georgia"][size="2"][color="#4b0082"]GOOD ANSWER! Personally I like the Muslims who find homosexuality as "the third gender" that should be embraced and accepted as they are. [/color][/size][/font]
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[quote name='Scrappydoo' timestamp='1310421784' post='515552']
[quote name='vendetta_revived' timestamp='1310418917' post='515542']
First let me clarify my intentions: They are not to fight with anyone over anything. I've learnt a lot from this place and like the people here a lot, and really don't want to give off any bad vibes that go against the general vibe of this forum.

Secondly, I'd love to hear about any topics about gay/bi people that one finds hard to understand? I can very well be wrong and it will be better for me to be corrected and learn something new.
[/quote]


[font="Georgia"][size="2"][color="#4b0082"]I don't feel that I am so ignorant that I need "it" explained. It all boils down to what you enjoy sexually and what you're attracted to. I am not attracted to short men, red heads, skinny men or men with long hair. Do I have to answer for that too? I am redhead phobic with a skinnymania. As far as my comment to Xtian, I would really worry that if I was married to someone whose interests and desires were something I can't fulfill, would he eventually resent me?

Politically, I understand fighting for the right for marriage. What I don't understand is why they don't find civil unions acceptable, when non religious hetero couples do. You can't and shouldn't change what someone believes religiously. I think states should allow gay marriages but shouldn't force a church to. I understand someone wanting to have a child with their life partner, buy a house with them, have their rights covered with insurance and wills. I don't understand why THAT is such a battle when if you really love someone they should be able to care for them. [/color][/size][/font]
[/quote]

First of all, I never asked for an answer, I simply pointed out that 'not understanding gay' and 'not being gay' are two different topics, your statement referring to one and the explanation you gave, to the other. I am not attracted to men, and just like you, I'd find it rather unpleasant if I see a naked man walking into my office, but that means that I am not gay, not that I don't "understand" gay. Really sorry for calling you a homophobic, since I think there is a communication gap here, and I apologize for jumping to conclusions.

I guess why they don't accept civil unions acceptable when hetero couples do is because it is not forced on the latter ones (If I am not wrong). Now I should mention here that I am an atheist, but if I did believe in god, I'd have a hard time believing that he/she would punish people for doing no more than to just be with the person they want to be, because as I mentioned earlier, being gay is not limited to humans only, but religion is probably a topic for another day. Edited by vendetta_revived
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[quote name='vendetta_revived' timestamp='1310425855' post='515565']
[quote name='Scrappydoo' timestamp='1310421784' post='515552']
[quote name='vendetta_revived' timestamp='1310418917' post='515542']
First let me clarify my intentions: They are not to fight with anyone over anything. I've learnt a lot from this place and like the people here a lot, and really don't want to give off any bad vibes that go against the general vibe of this forum.

Secondly, I'd love to hear about any topics about gay/bi people that one finds hard to understand? I can very well be wrong and it will be better for me to be corrected and learn something new.
[/quote]


[font="Georgia"][size="2"][color="#4b0082"]I don't feel that I am so ignorant that I need "it" explained. It all boils down to what you enjoy sexually and what you're attracted to. I am not attracted to short men, red heads, skinny men or men with long hair. Do I have to answer for that too? I am redhead phobic with a skinnymania. As far as my comment to Xtian, I would really worry that if I was married to someone whose interests and desires were something I can't fulfill, would he eventually resent me?

Politically, I understand fighting for the right for marriage. What I don't understand is why they don't find civil unions acceptable, when non religious hetero couples do. You can't and shouldn't change what someone believes religiously. I think states should allow gay marriages but shouldn't force a church to. I understand someone wanting to have a child with their life partner, buy a house with them, have their rights covered with insurance and wills. I don't understand why THAT is such a battle when if you really love someone they should be able to care for them. [/color][/size][/font]
[/quote]

First of all, I never asked for an answer, I simply pointed out that 'not understanding gay' and 'not being gay' are two different topics, your statement referring to one and the explanation you gave, to the other. I am not attracted to men, and just like you, I'd find it rather unpleasant if I see a naked man walking into my office, but that means that I am not gay, not that I don't "understand" gay. Really sorry for calling you a homophobic, since I think there is a communication gap here, and I apologize for jumping to conclusions.

I guess why they don't accept civil unions acceptable when hetero couples do is because it is not forced on the latter ones (If I am not wrong). Now I should mention here that I am an atheist, but if I did believe in god, I'd have a hard time believing that he/she would punish people for doing no more than to just be with the person they want to be, because as I mentioned earlier, being gay is not limited to humans only, but religion is probably a topic for another day.
[/quote]

[font="Georgia"][size="2"][color="#4b0082"]Well, on that point alone, they are asking religious people to change their views to include them. Being married in a church, away from the licensing, doesn't get you anything extra and they are certainly free to start their own church if they are unable to find one that agrees with what they believe in.[/color][/size][/font]
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[quote name='Scrappydoo' timestamp='1310401302' post='515493']
Why settle for the tofu when you can have the beef?
[/quote]

I'm a vegetarian :lol:

Now I can agree on this concept being in the middle of sexual withdrawal...believe you me, my hand is just not doing it justice. I miss that sweet lotus flower of wonder! Yay for vaginas!
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[quote name='Giant Ninja Robot' timestamp='1310433168' post='515582']
[quote name='Scrappydoo' timestamp='1310401302' post='515493']
Why settle for the tofu when you can have the beef?
[/quote]

I'm a vegetarian :lol:

Now I can agree on this concept being in the middle of sexual withdrawal...believe you me, my hand is just not doing it justice. I miss that sweet lotus flower of wonder! Yay for vaginas!
[/quote]


I am a vegetarian, too! (Maybe I should start that poll! LOL!) It was a bad metaphor, even for me! I meant, "the real thing...."
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Ok I wasn't going to write in here but this has kinda gotten crazy..I watched as Ty first posted this thread and it set for about a week with no reply. Also in Ty's OP he just asked for who was gay/bi not for any any opinions. So at this point can't ppl just say if they are they are and then move on. No need to make a big deal out of this. Live and let live and just love people for who they are. Keep it simple!!
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Agreed! Any more gay / lesbian / bisexual smokers who want to check in: don't be scared off by the debating.
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This topic has really shown me some things.

As much as I don't agree with some of the things scrappy had to say, keep in mind that this WAS her first statement to begin with.

[quote name='Scrappydoo' timestamp='1310224533' post='515270']
Please don't think I mean this as judgement, I am just wondering how your wife feels about this? I think I would have second thoughts about marrying a bisexual man, there would be underlying worries. I think if I did marry a bisexual man, I would have to take a step back and allow him to pursue "the other side" or feel like I was keeping him from something he really enjoys? Just a thought, I hope you are not offended.
[/quote]

She was merely curious as to how relationships between bisexual/straight/gay couples worked, seeing as being the straight woman she is and not with a bisexual man, she didn't have such an experience. If anything she was just showing concern that came off in the wrong context. How are we to expect people who just aren't interested in knowing about gay people's sex lives, let alone the homophobics and haters, to accept things about the gay community if we explode and begin giving out accusations because they said something completely rational, yet we just didn't want to hear it. I'm speaking as a gay man, not someone who agrees with Scrappy.

I have to agree with the two most recent posts above and say that this topic of simple declaration of sexuality, a sort of reunion of the homo/bisexual community here on HF turned into a thread based on opinions. After all, I did call my fallow gay.bi hookah smokers kin (not that the rest of you aren't).

Please understand I'm not pegging this thread as a whole, or all the people in it. Most of you were very helpful, and I found this thread to be quite insightful for gays, bi's, and straights alike. However, confrontation like that isn't meant for things like people of the same sexuality introducing each other. That's for the threads on Casey Anthony and Politics.

Just thought I'd give my two cents now that the high tide is coming down.
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[quote name='TheyCallMeDave' timestamp='1311177609' post='516641']
This topic has really shown me some things.

As much as I don't agree with some of the things scrappy had to say, keep in mind that this WAS her first statement to begin with.

[quote name='Scrappydoo' timestamp='1310224533' post='515270']
Please don't think I mean this as judgement, I am just wondering how your wife feels about this? I think I would have second thoughts about marrying a bisexual man, there would be underlying worries. I think if I did marry a bisexual man, I would have to take a step back and allow him to pursue "the other side" or feel like I was keeping him from something he really enjoys? Just a thought, I hope you are not offended.
[/quote]

She was merely curious as to how relationships between bisexual/straight/gay couples worked, seeing as being the straight woman she is and not with a bisexual man, she didn't have such an experience. If anything she was just showing concern that came off in the wrong context. How are we to expect people who just aren't interested in knowing about gay people's sex lives, let alone the homophobics and haters, to accept things about the gay community if we explode and begin giving out accusations because they said something completely rational, yet we just didn't want to hear it. I'm speaking as a gay man, not someone who agrees with Scrappy.

I have to agree with the two most recent posts above and say that this topic of simple declaration of sexuality, a sort of reunion of the homo/bisexual community here on HF turned into a thread based on opinions. After all, I did call my fallow gay.bi hookah smokers kin (not that the rest of you aren't).

Please understand I'm not pegging this thread as a whole, or all the people in it. Most of you were very helpful, and I found this thread to be quite insightful for gays, bi's, and straights alike. However, confrontation like that isn't meant for things like people of the same sexuality introducing each other. That's for the threads on Casey Anthony and Politics.

Just thought I'd give my two cents now that the high tide is coming down.
[/quote]
this post made more sense than any other in this thread and for the record I am straight for those keeping score.
Ray
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  • 4 months later...
[quote name='Teganv' timestamp='1323249016' post='531972']
I know this thread has been kinda dead for a while, but why not start it up again without the debate?

Im lesbian. Simple as that. ;)
[/quote]
yay! my little cousin, aunt and one of my dad's cousins are all lesbian. personally I'm a 'mo ;) we got the gay all up in our family...
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Oohhh fun topic! lol

Many of my best friends in the past have been gay, lesbian, and/ or bi. No big deal to me..

but just so you know, I have been known to use the term "gay" in the pollitically incorrect and rude way as an insult to people(jokingly)
I don't mean any offense by it at all. I know you've heard me say it in TC before and I do apologize if it offended you.

I'll try to watch myself better tho
<3 Tegan
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[quote name='mustang67n' timestamp='1323280046' post='532032']
Oohhh fun topic! lol

Many of my best friends in the past have been gay, lesbian, and/ or bi. No big deal to me..

but just so you know, I have been known to use the term "gay" in the pollitically incorrect and rude way as an insult to people(jokingly)
I don't mean any offense by it at all. I know you've heard me say it in TC before and I do apologize if it offended you.

I'll try to watch myself better tho
<3 Tegan
[/quote]

goddamit I'm totally offended. really. I'm super serial about this too.










:D
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[quote name='Teganv' timestamp='1323249016' post='531972']
I know this thread has been kinda dead for a while, but why not start it up again without the debate?

Im lesbian. Simple as that. ;)
[/quote]

Welcome to our club, lady. :D
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[quote name='mustang67n' timestamp='1323280046' post='532032']
Oohhh fun topic! lol

Many of my best friends in the past have been gay, lesbian, and/ or bi. No big deal to me..

but just so you know, I have been known to use the term "gay" in the pollitically incorrect and rude way as an insult to people(jokingly)
I don't mean any offense by it at all. I know you've heard me say it in TC before and I do apologize if it offended you.

I'll try to watch myself better tho
<3 Tegan
[/quote]

It's no big deal, I've gotten used to it, from living....haha
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