TheyCallMeDave Posted February 3, 2011 Share Posted February 3, 2011 Alright, here's the low-down. Create puns, and post them here. They can be puns you thougth of or heard throughout your day, what have you. You get extra rep points if you can make a pun stringing off the pun before you. You can only post 3 puns for every 10 puns posted, unless the thread dies out, in which case, please revive it with another terrible pun. So here we go. This should be pun. Two cannibles are eating a clown. One looks up and asks the other "Hey, does this taste funny to you?" Let the puns begin. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr. B Posted February 3, 2011 Share Posted February 3, 2011 (edited) 3 puns for every 10 posted? Is that to preserve the integrity of the thread? I guess you wouldn't want the same people constantly looming around here and dominating the discussion... But what if I come up with a good string of puns? I'll play your game though, it could add and interesting spin to the thread. Edited February 3, 2011 by Dr. B Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jorlyfish Posted February 3, 2011 Share Posted February 3, 2011 [font="Arial"][size="2"]One my punster boyfriend told me:[/size][/font] [font="Arial"][size="2"]These friars were behind on their belfry payments, so they opened up a small florist shop to raise funds. Since everyone liked to buy flowers from the men of God, a rival florist across town thought the competition was unfair. He asked the good fathers to close down, but they would not. He went back and begged the friars to close. They ignored him. So, the rival florist hired Hugh MacTaggart, the roughest and most vicious thug in town to "persuade" them to close. Hugh beat up the friars and trashed their store, saying he'd be back if they didn't close up shop. Terrified, they did so, thereby proving that Hugh, and only Hugh, can prevent florist friars.[/size][/font] [font="Arial"][size="2"] [/size][/font] [font="Arial"][size="2"] [/size][/font] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
agunn1231 Posted February 3, 2011 Share Posted February 3, 2011 did you hear about the circus fire.....it was in tents Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ezxen Posted February 3, 2011 Share Posted February 3, 2011 Atheism is a non-prophet organization Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rahl071 Posted February 3, 2011 Share Posted February 3, 2011 I guess this includes Confucius Say: Confucius say: Man who stands on toiled is high on pot. Confucius say: Man who runs in front of cart gets tired. Confucius say: Man who fights with wife all day gets no piece at night. Confucius say: Only culture some people have is bacteria. Confucius say: Secretaries are not permanent until screwed down on desk. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Click Posted February 3, 2011 Share Posted February 3, 2011 This is a headline I read on Egypt: Mubarak is in deNile. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
agunn1231 Posted February 3, 2011 Share Posted February 3, 2011 [quote name='Click' timestamp='1296709597' post='496637'] This is a headline I read on Egypt: Mubarak is in deNile. [/quote] Drowning in his sorrows. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr. B Posted February 3, 2011 Share Posted February 3, 2011 Can you blame him? The government deserted the people long ago... It seems like malapropisms are fair game. Carry on Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheyCallMeDave Posted February 3, 2011 Author Share Posted February 3, 2011 [quote name='Dr. B' timestamp='1296714622' post='496641'] Can you blame him? The government deserted the people long ago... It seems like malapropisms are fair game. Carry on [/quote] the government DESERTed the people of EGYPT ....Too soon. Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him (oh, man, this is so bad, it's good) ... a super-calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tyler Posted February 3, 2011 Share Posted February 3, 2011 Two fish swim into a concrete wall. The one turns to the other and says, "Dam"! You know you laughed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tyler Posted February 3, 2011 Share Posted February 3, 2011 And just incase.... This thread was created to make people laugh so some members posted ten different puns with their friends, with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them smile. No pun in ten did... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr. B Posted February 3, 2011 Share Posted February 3, 2011 Tyler, I'm a fan of puns but that first one did not blow, it sucked. Allow me to continue to breathe some fresh air into this thread... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
joytron Posted February 3, 2011 Share Posted February 3, 2011 [quote name='TheyCallMeDave' timestamp='1296715056' post='496642'] [quote name='Dr. B' timestamp='1296714622' post='496641'] Can you blame him? The government deserted the people long ago... It seems like malapropisms are fair game. Carry on [/quote] the government DESERTed the people of EGYPT ....Too soon. Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him (oh, man, this is so bad, it's good) ... a super-calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis. [/quote] Yeah I am pretty sure Dr. B did that intentionally no need to dissect his threads looking for puns. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Travis Posted February 3, 2011 Share Posted February 3, 2011 This thread is its own pun..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
joytron Posted February 3, 2011 Share Posted February 3, 2011 From mental floss: [color=#333333][font=helvetica, sans-serif][size=2][color=#000000][font=arial, sans-serif][size=3] Two fishermen were in a boat by the lake, when one of them stood to catch a fish in a net. As he scooped up the carp, his wallet fell out of his back pocket. As the seemingly doomed billfold started to sink to the lake bottom, the carp slipped out of the net and swam after it, re-emerging with it on his nose.[/size][/font][/color] [color=#000000][font=arial, sans-serif][size=3]However, instead of returning it, he tossed it to one of his fish buddies, who balanced it on his nose. More of more of fish-buddies emerged from the water, and all of them played this strange game of keep-away with the man’s billfold.[/size][/font][/color] [color=#000000][font=arial, sans-serif][size=3]The first man watched, slackjawed. He said to the other “Have you ever seen anything like this before?”[/size][/font][/color] [color=#000000][font=arial, sans-serif][size=3]The second man answered “Sure I have. Haven’t you heard of carp-to-carp walleting?”[/size][/font][/color] [/size][/font][/color] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Click Posted February 3, 2011 Share Posted February 3, 2011 I had no idea wtf a malapropism was. The more you know :shooting star: thx b Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ryno Posted February 3, 2011 Share Posted February 3, 2011 [quote name='agunn1231' timestamp='1296707281' post='496634'] did you hear about the circus fire.....it was in tents [/quote] Like camping Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cp44 Posted February 3, 2011 Share Posted February 3, 2011 [quote name='rahl071' timestamp='1296708588' post='496636'] I guess this includes Confucius Say: Confucius say: Man who stands on toiled is high on pot. Confucius say: Man who runs in front of cart gets tired. Confucius say: Man who fights with wife all day gets no piece at night. Confucius say: Only culture some people have is bacteria. Confucius say: Secretaries are not permanent until screwed down on desk. [/quote] Confucius say: Man who go through airport doors sideways is going to Bangkok Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheyCallMeDave Posted February 3, 2011 Author Share Posted February 3, 2011 Ever since my friend got all his toes amputated due to frostbite, I can't stand him anymore! I think I might be lack-toes intolerant.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lucy Ford Posted February 3, 2011 Share Posted February 3, 2011 [quote name='TheyCallMeDave' timestamp='1296769179' post='496715'] Ever since my friend got all his toes amputated due to frostbite, I can't stand him anymore! I think I might be lack-toes intolerant.... [/quote] bad puns aren't punny Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
agunn1231 Posted February 4, 2011 Share Posted February 4, 2011 i knew a guy who wanted to learn to juggle. he just didn't have the balls Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EAK1791 Posted February 4, 2011 Share Posted February 4, 2011 [quote name='Lucy Ford' timestamp='1296774472' post='496725'] [quote name='TheyCallMeDave' timestamp='1296769179' post='496715'] Ever since my friend got all his toes amputated due to frostbite, I can't stand him anymore! I think I might be lack-toes intolerant.... [/quote] bad puns aren't punny [/quote] Oh, stop pun-tificating. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IainUM Posted February 4, 2011 Share Posted February 4, 2011 anything that is not an elephant is e-relephant Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr. B Posted February 4, 2011 Share Posted February 4, 2011 re: toeless guy: I bet he couldn't stand to see his friend abandon him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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