One liners

[pauldavis]

you got any good one liners???ill starti wish my lawn was emo so it would cut itself

[NEO_WRX]

whats good about having schrizophenia?
you always have someone to talk to.

[DarthHookah]

my friend once told me- "i know youre living off of love, but your killing all the chickens!"

[pauldavis]

a severed foot is the ultimate stocking stuffer

[nuschultz]

from the movie Waiting..."The nice thing about Alzheimers is that you get to meet new and interesting people, every single day."

[lilotaku]

"if i could change the alphabet,  i would put U and I together"

[DarthHookah]

my love for you is like diarrhea- i just cant hold it in.

[GuyWithTheGun]

To a co-worker (and I promise it was much funnier at the time) :"I don't know why you don't like British comedy. You've got the driest sense of humor of anyone I know. You're like Rodney Dangerfield if he was toast."Oh, how we laughed.

[Social Smoking]

Shisha, no matter how good it smells, dont eat it.

[frontmanpb101]

Personally, i think that my fingers taste good when i lick them to clean them after packing a bowl to keep on subject: three guys walk into a bar, the third one ducked.or pick-up one-liner: ...i dont have any, i dont use lines cause i'm a pimp (very shy...)

[PhatBeezie]

here's one , " I just got a tattoo! Really what did you get ? I got the whole dictionary tattooed on my dick. ***Pause***. You want me to put some words in your mouth ? "  hahahahaha its a pick up line only used from a guy to a girl

[Soup]

"I've got the wonderful physique of a crack addict!" (I weigh about 140lbs soaking wet)Pick up line "You've got come to be eyes and suck me off lips!" **Smack** "Are you gonna fuck me or not?!" **Smack**

[shimshamsam2]

"Im against picketing, but i dont know how to show it"~Mitch Hedburgthe late great king of one liners :Dpick up line"That shit is very becoming, but id be cumming if i was on you too

[RuthlessWSK]

(First Post Yay) Does This Rag Smell Like Chloroform?

[lwieise]

[quote name='RuthlessWSK'](First Post Yay)  Does This Rag Smell Like Chloroform?[/quote] Now [b]that[/b] is a pickup line!

[KiKaL]

Did you hear about the blind guy who went bungee jumping?

Scared the hell out of his dog.

[TripleP]

I think so Brain, but if Jimmy cracked corn and nobody cares, why's he keep doin it!?

[xpimpitox]

to a religious girl, heard it last nite...drunk 16 yr olds are funny at times....baby i got demons on my wiener, why dont you just suck them out and purify me! it was funnier at the time or maybe i was just too hammered ::shrugs::

[moosepotatoes]

I got mad at my dog, so i threw a melon on it....now it's melon collie.

2 shoes walk into a bar, the bartender says. "I'm sorry we can't serve you here", the shoes say "Why?", the bartender says, "I dont speak your tongue."

..........now that I read everyone elses I think im on the wrong track

[gumonshoe]

"Did it hurt?" what? "When you fell from heaven!"

[DarthHookah]

baby, you must have fallen from heaven... that would explain how you messed up your face

a mushroom walks intoa bar, bartender says "we dont serve your kind here!" mushroom says "why not? im a fun guy (fungi)!"

celine dion walks into a bar, bartender says "why the long face?"

[loanshark]

nice shoes, want to fuck!!!!!!

[SanguineSolitude]

one liners are not the same thing as pickup lines. so stop putting up lame pickup lines.

I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don't have film.

Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.

[DarthHookah]

i never fucked a 10. but one night, i fucked five 2's. that should count. something else im proud of, i never fucked a 1. never been drunk enough.

ok, more than a one liner, but it is just so great.

[SanguineSolitude]

??? that wasnt even funny though?