Jump to content

a grasshopper joke!


EsOva

Recommended Posts

so a grasshopper walks into a bar and the bartender goes " ey, did you know we have a drink named after you?", and the grasshopper looks up at the bartender smiling and says " you guys have a drink named Larry?"
Link to comment
Share on other sites

One day a string walks into a bar...the bartender says...we don't serve strings in here, so get out!The string leaves, walks around the corner and ties a knot in himself an then roughs up his ends to make the real fuzzy. He walks back in the bar and orders a drink...The bartender says aren't you that string I threw out of here?The string says: Nope, I am a frayed knot! (Afraid not)
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Yeah, so anyways, a guy stumbles into a bar and says to the bartender"Give me a wild turkey."The bartender says "We don't got Wild Turkey""OH, yeah, I understand, that's OK...I'll have a-a a Wild Turkey" (Slurring)"Buddy, we don't got Wild Turkey. We got Jack, Jim, Seagram's and Maker's Mark, but no Wild Turkey.""Yeah, I'm sorry, I don't know what I was thinking...Ima idiot! Well, just let me have a Wild Turkey then."The bartender is absolutely overwraught and says "OK, if you can spell Wild Turkey, I'll give a you a free bottle of it."The man seems to sober up a little and says "W-I-L-D T-U-R-K-E-Y""No that's wrong.""No, I spelled it right.""You forgot the 'F'.""There's no F-in Wild Turkey!""That's what I've been trying to tell you!"
Link to comment
Share on other sites

hahaha, that's an excellent joke, i heard it from my aunt just recently in a different form... but anyway,a pirate walks into a bar, and the bartender notices that he's got a steering wheel coming out of his waist.  "what's that doing there?" he asks the pirate. the pirate replies, "yarr, it's drivin' me nuts!"
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Lame bar jokes:

A skeleton walks into a bar. He orders a beer and a towel.

Two guys walk into a bar. The third one ducks.

A priest, a nun, and a Rabbi walk into a bar. The bartender looks up and says, "What is this, some kind of a joke?"

Told you they were lame! I've got good ones, but they're inappropriate as hell!
Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 3 weeks later...
I definitely don't drink Zima or Old English 40's. Believe me. I drink quality beer, not disgusting cheap malt liquor - and definitely not some fad like Zima. I appreciated quality liquor when I'm in the mood to stomach it. And well...if you want to buy it for me.Ahh, just like a typical woman...to go out to a bar and have the man pay.hahahaa... I wish I were that kind of woman. Too bad I actually pay for my drinks. I really oughtta work on that.
Link to comment
Share on other sites

I drink Old E and my favorite beer is Miller High Life. I've also been known to drink King Cobra. On the other hand, I prefer single malt scotch and premium bourbons. The most I've been known to spend on a bottle of scotch (Before I went into business, of course) was $250. 
Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 3 weeks later...
A mushroom walk into a bar and orders a drink the bartender says "im sorry we dont serve mushrooms in here" the mushroom "says why not?" The bartender replies "BECAUSE YOUR A FU**ING MUSHROOM!!" i mad up that joke when i was drunk, then heard someone tell one almost just like only crappy
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
×
×
  • Create New...