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What Does A Drunk Australian And My Face Have In Common? Pain.

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FURsAKeN

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Well just about done with the deployment, I'll be home soon.
Where to start off?? Hmmm...
We hit Townsville, Australia; and I was only out for one night before getting head butted by an Aussie. We were watching the rugby match; AUS vs. NZ and I personally like the Kiwis. Dude, there team is hellacious and brutal! So this Aussie dude stumbles over to where me and Dustin were having a pint of VB and asks us if we were gay. I didn't care much, but fired off and told him how dudes isn't my thing and if that’s what he was looking for I'm married. He apologized then started to talk about the game, asked me what team I was going for and I told him the blacks. He then rogered up and head butted me with a laugh, so I though he was joking around. I had the urge to head butt him back and I did, this time I didn't square him in the head. He pulled back away from me and I brought my braincase into his nose... yeah it started to bleed and the laughter stoMFed, like one of those movies where the white guys walks into a black party and tries to talk all ghetto and the music ends with the record scratching. Yeah... let’s just say he started to talk that Aussie slang and head butt me back in the eye. Followed by throwing up his fists and wanting to throw down. I wasn't about to fight some drunk Aussie and beat the sh*t outta him and then get thrown in jail, put on restriction, and loose rank. So I sucked it up, bought him and a beer and left. My skull was pounding he hit me good, I felt the blood running in my sinuses and my nose swelled up. Doc said I cracked my nose and bled into my sinuses and bruised the bone of my eye socket. What a bitch of a week that was....
I forgot what haMFened underway in between Australia and New Caledonia. But I bet it was retarded...
Next port was New Caledonia, French owned Micronesia. It was expensive. It’s started off and finished right, one of the few ports that do. Started off with a wine and cheese tasting tour, that was very beautiful. We got to see the sights of NC and drink some rich and delicious wine while doing so, along with bread and cheese. I though I was gonna be constipated after eating so much cheese but I think the wine and excess of beer after helped with that in some miraculous way. I had my Zen on me at the time loaded with music and porn, yes porn... But the kicker was David wanted to see the new stuff and I showed him, well the French guy who was serving us wine and bread saw the pictures. He was a middle aged man about, 50-60, had a stomach on him and a very heavy French accent when he spoke. He saw the pictures and started to stomp his foot muttering "La-la-la-laaa" and it was very entertaining. I busted my gut once he started to point at the pictures and say very loudly "You know I love these American sluts, so much better then the French sluts. Love them. Beautiful" with a heavy French accent of course.
After the wine and cheese, David and I started to explore and meet up with our other shipmates and have a blast. The French were very nice, and some were very touchy which kinda creped me out. I know your saying "But on the ship you guys do some borderline gay stuff." Yeah that’s true, but I do know my guys are married and its all fun and games, also they are not gonna hop into my rack. We were all bought round after round of beer and shots; I had like 8 beers and too many shots. Dear God, I was about to enter the hurt locker and just lose everything. We headed to a club called "Jet 7" where you could dance your heart out, and they had striMFer poles. It was a pretty sick club. Only problem it was all sailors and few other people, but we still danced. Until my stomach told me abandon ship. You ever get so drunk your to a point where you body says "Look dude, either you keep drinking and shits gonna get worse, or head to the bathroom and purge."? I was having one of those moments, so I headed to the bathroom and began purging everything from lunch to dinner to everything I have ingested. Man it was a nasty orange and brown color and I kept spewing all over the toilet and floor, but it didn't stop there. I have about 8-10 volleys of spew and by the 5 the blood vessels in my nose broke open, so blood was pouring out. There were massive amounts of blood and puke on the wall, the floor, and the toilet. It looked like someone was being stabbed while puking. I remember feeling bad for whoever had to clean this place so I ATTEMPTED to clean up after myself. I unrolled some toilet paper and started wiping; only problem is the paper was cheap and it just smeared and broke down in my hand. To top it off it puked again where I wiped, yeah... progress...
After controlling the bleeding and puking I walked out and David knew my condition and took me home (ship).
The next day, I didn’t have a hangover... but I did take my vitamins and drank plenty of water. It was the last day, so we headed out for an easy day. I had a pint of Number One, great local beer and a cigar. David had the same and we just watched the on goers and stray cats. It was funny we had one of them jump on to our table and pet him, he was pretty cool. I spilled some of my beer by bumping my glass the cat started to lap it up. I would have taken this bag of fur home and feed him all the cat food he wanted and he would have had drinks with me and the wife! hehe
Now we are in Guam, and it has been very beautiful. I flew the Mrs.Fursaken out to meet me and stay at a nice hotel. It was great, loads of sex, food, and beer. What more can a sailor ask for? Nothing. If you have never been to Guam I would recommend you go. But keep in mind it is very expensive. A rockstar cost me $3.75, and meal that was 2 Bud lights and a burger with fries was $24.75. Yeah ouch. Meal for two runs about 30 bucks.
All it all really was just me and wife taking pictures, swimming, enjoying the weather, having some drinks, went to a strip club, and had the angry loving sex. There was this one strip club we were at; it wasn't as bad as a club I been to in Dallas, Texas with a midget striMFer and another obesse midget striMFer. It was called "Vikings"; and they didn't really have their "A-Team" more like the "D-Team". StriMFer with a c-section was great to watch (ugh..), and the wife was pretty upset too, more then me really. The looks on her face made the time all worth it. Just straight disgust and disaMFointment. Oh yeah, 10 bucks for jager and redbull. Meh.
But it all came to an end and she had to fly out, I forgot to check into the ship this morning and now I'm in trouble, but I don’t care really. I had fun with my wife and they can blow me. They might just put me on a High Risk Liberty which mean in Hong Kong I won't be able to go on liberty. Oh well, I'll just pay someone to bring food and it will be money saved. There is no new Photoshop that I want I already have CS3. So no loss.
For those who are interested; I am re-enlisting for four more years. Already done 5 so far, but once I hit my 10 year mark I will more then likely be getting out. January 08 I will be signing on the dotted line again and saluting. But I will be re-enlisting in my hot-suit. It’s basically a suit I wear for Crash and Salvage to help disconnect battery cables, rescue crewmen, and do charlie checks (hot spots) on the downed heilo. It’s a very shiny Kevlar and aluminum suit. I already told we wife I am using the money to pay off bills and buy a new hookah for the two of us. Also on the lighter side of news, I will be picking orders next month so hopefully I can get orders back home to So-Cal or maybe even Washington State.
Deuces!


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